This morning my husband and I were laying in bed having an early morning coffee date. We usually get up and rush to start the day, but decided today to spend a little extra time snuggled in the warmth of our quilts. Within minutes all three kids (and the dog!) crashed our party. They climbed up in the bed and decided to worm their way down into the blankets. It’s a big deal for the kids to be allowed in our bed. They know if they are invited into our domain that it is a special thing.
Once they were all snuggled into place the talking and giggling started. We asked our oldest about her friends at school and she dove right in to a rather large diatribe on her friend ‘Sam.’ She told us all about him – how nice he is, how well-behaved he is in class, and how he wants to marry her.
Then she shared a secret with us…
“I’m starting to ‘like like’ him.”
We didn’t know what this meant in third grade terms. So we asked. She explained it all to us and let us know that this was her secret. We encouraged her to always share her secrets with us. She just smiled and giggled.
We all have secrets. Some are buried deep and will remain unspoken. Some are silly to us yet a big deal to others. Some secrets get put in writing – filling up the pages of journal and diaries. I want my children to have secrets. Yet, at the same time I want them to share the big ones with me. There is something magical about keeping a snippet of knowledge to oneself and knowing that only you possess the depth of knowledge. Yet, there is something rather bonding and special about knowing you always have a person to share those secrets with when you’re ready. Someone who will listen. Someone who will share in the joy…or the fear. Someone who will dispense advice without bias. I want me children to have that in me. While I know they won’t always share their stories with their mother, I hope they’ll always realize that they can…when their ready.
For now I’ll take the giggles on a Sunday morning as my daughter tells me all about ‘Sam’… That’s enough at this point.
This post was inspired by mystery thriller novel The Expats by Chris Pavone. Kate Moore sheds happily sheds her old life become a stay at home mom when her husband takes a job in Europe. As she attempts to reinvent herself, she ends up chasing her evasive husband’s secrets. Join From Left to Write on January 22 as we discuss The Expats As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.