Gay Pirates and Polygamy Compliments of the Craft Store

I took my lovely children to the craft store today.  We’ve been looking for different adventures to occupy the long summer days and decided we’d venture to the craft store to see what kind of trouble we could dig up.  Plus, the $1.00 coloring books are such a bargain!

We wandered around for over an hour looking at all the things we could do this summer – making t-shirts, paintings, jewelry creation, dioramas, etc.  I decided to let the kids each pick out something to do this afternoon.  Surprisingly they each decided they wanted to paint a bird house – not for birds to actually use but for their teeny, tiny midget toys to have a place to play.  We left with a pirate ship bird house, a log cabin bird house, and a castle bird house.

When we got home I set up the kitchen table with newspaper, towels, paints, and brushes.  They sat there laughing, talking, and painting their birdhouses for two hours! No arguments, no fighting – just two hours of laughter, politeness when asking to pass more paint, and imaginations running full force.

I sat in the living room and read a book while they worked on their creations and overheard some of the most hilarious conversations happening between them…

Jacob: “This boy pirate is going to marry this boy pirate.  But this other boy pirate is just going to have a bunch of wives!”

Amelia: “That’s a great idea! We can make them have a wedding and then they can adopt all the animals as their children!”

Charlotte: “They can’t adopt the horse because he’s going to have to be the orphan.”

Jacob: “My boy pirates can’t adopt anyone because if their peg legs come off they’ll just fall over and they won’t be able to take care of anyone! Except maybe the parrot because at least he can fly away when they start to fall over.”

Amelia: “How can they have peg legs and hooks for a hand?”

Jacob: “The hook is a bloody stump underneath but the wives like it.”

Charlotte: “Neigh says the horsey orphan!”

Clearly, this trip to the craft store paid for itself.

The Irony of it all

Yesterday I discovered the true evil that exists in this world.  It was disguised and it was powerful.  I fell prey to its charms and am now here to warn you all of the same danger.  

Facebook.  
More specifically, Facebook quizzes.  
Someone sent me a goofy quiz via Facebook and wanted to compare scores and answers.  Now, normally I ignore these things because, well, I do.  But, yesterday I decided to take the quiz and have a little fun.  My domestic tasks were caught up and the children were napping so why not waste valuable time with the Internet!?  
I clicked the button and began answering the ten questions required for the quiz.  I got done with the last question and it asked me a couple demographic questions and indicated that it would text my quiz score to my cell phone.  
Okay.  Fine.  
I feel the need add a couple disclaimers here and say that I’m not a cell phone addict.  I never have been.  I have a prepaid cell phone that I use only when I’m running errands and the kids are in school.  But, I figured I could spare 15 cents to get a quick text.  I also feel the need to inform you that I’m not a gullible person, but I do tend to try to see the honesty and good in the world.  
So, you’ll understand my shock and surprise when suddenly my cell phone blew up with numerous texts from some company telling me I had been signed up for some service that was $14.99 a month!  
$14.99!
Those quiz bastards took $14.99 of my prepaid cell phone dollars.  Plus, I got charged for every text they sent me!  I had to text some special code back just to cancel whatever the hell it is I signed up for while trying to get my quiz score.  
Now, are you ready for the irony of the whole thing?
It was for an IQ quiz…
and I never did get my damn results.  
Evil, man.  Just evil.  
I feel the need to go hide in my happy place.