shopping - hooey!critic

For the love of the mattress

September 6, 2011 by Neena 5 Comments

In 2002 a young couple decided to get married. They were in love, full of excitement and dreams, and rather stupid and naive to, well, everything. Shortly after they wed they purchased a house. With that house and new marriage came the need to purchase the marital bed.

They opted for a Queen sized bed because they lived in that “Oh my God! We are so in love and we never want to be far away from each other so let’s get a bed that keeps us close enough to snuggle every single night because marriage is awesome and full of unicorns and my partner is so magical he farts roses” mentality. They chose what they could afford – more concerned with the elusive cuddle factor than with logical things like, say, comfort.

Nine years and 3 kids later…

The youngish couple (thought still in love!) realize they are not as small and spry as they were just a few short years ago. Through the creeks, the squeaks, and the achiness in the morning the couple decides it is time to upgrade to something a bit more practical and comfortable. Their mentality has become more along the lines of “Oh my God I love you, but if you don’t get on your side of the bed and quit stealing my covers and touching me with your cold feet I swear I’ll go full-on matrix on your ass and what the hell did you eat for dinner because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t roses!?

Thus the decision to purchase a new (king size!!) bed was born.

That’s as far as we’ve gotten, ladies and gentlemen. Nine years and 3 kids later we’ve decided it is time to upgrade. It’s time. Oh, for the love of those awesome marriage unicorns, it’s time to upgrade. We just don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to even enter a store until I’ve done a ton of research because, by golly, I’m coming home with the best freaking mattress in all the land when we are done here.

Some people swear by the sleep number. Some people would never purchase anything other than tempurpedic. Some people say to just buy a foam pad before purchasing anything. I need some real-life testimony here. What do you sleep on? What did you consider when buying a mattress? What do you think we should avoid?

And seriously, honey, what the hell did you eat!?

Filed Under: research, shopping

I love a bargain!

January 17, 2010 by Neena 6 Comments

I’d like to tell you that I found some killer deal on a great pair of jeans.

Or finally found the most adorable boots that a girl could ever want.

Or, even the most amazing deal on car insurance.

But, I didn’t.

What I did find was that Waldenbooks is closing down all of their mall locations and, in turn, are selling everything for up to 80% off. Books, baby! I’m talking books!

I’m talking six new releases at a price that was so unbelievable that I can’t share it with you for fear you’ll run out and buy up everything I plan to get on my next trip – cause I’m making more than one!

Six books! At a freaking awesome price!

Are you feeling the joy!?

I am!

It’s enough to make a gal feel all warm and gooey inside.

Oh. Have I said too much!?

Filed Under: books, shopping

A Riddle Of Sorts

July 20, 2009 by Neena 6 Comments

What do you get when you take a stay-at-home mommy that recently rediscovered the fact that she’s actually a girl and is supposed to wear more than yoga pants and Old Navy t-shirts and do things that don’t revolve around diaper genies, craft time, and play dates and mix it with the anxiety of the first ever trip away from the kids that didn’t involve surgery or birth and an accidental stop at an outlet mall on the way home from a child’s birthday party?

Why, 3 pairs of pants, 2 dresses, 4 shirts, two handbags, 1 pair of heels, and a Linkin Park After Midnight Pedicure.

Who knew!?

Filed Under: clothes, photo, riddle, shopping

Flip Flops: An Analysis

March 30, 2009 by Neena 12 Comments

I recently bought myself a pair of flip flops.

Cute, huh!

This was a big deal for me because I have always had horrible images and stereotypes of flip flops in my head.

Most people probably pictures something cute like this when they think about Spring and flip flops.

No.

Not me.

I picture things like this:

Dirty feet and dried, crusty heels. Nasty, dirty flip flop feet.

It’s rather gross and creepy, but it’s everywhere. People in the mall, people at the grocery store, people at the pediatrician. It’s like attack of the dirty flop flop feet.

And, I’m a bit creeped out by feet to begin with. My mom has whacked out feet and my husband has these genetically strange dragon toes that literally have the ability to pick up and move cars due to their flexibility and strength. I’m serious.

Creepy, huh!?

Actually he was trying to be cute. I had forced him to watch the all day marathon of America’s Next Top Model and when I asked if I could take a picture of his feet he said, ‘Sure, just let me pose so I can make it fierce!’

His feet, despite the toes that have the strength of a side-show freak, are quite normal looking.

But, despite all this, I am going to dedicate some time to understanding and accepting the world of flip flops. Maybe I’ll become a convert and throw my Crocs to the wind. Maybe I’ll realized that Old Navy is on to something. Maybe I’ll grow to love them like so many other girls.

But, if I run across any shit like this, I’m out!

Seriously, though. Because the chipped polish just makes it okay.

Filed Under: flip flops, photos, shopping

A Day of Shopping

March 4, 2009 by Neena 6 Comments

I treated myself to a bit of shopping today. I hadn’t been out of the house much since my brush with death last week as I fought the flu. Okay, it may not exactly have been a brush with death, but it sure felt that way!

So, today I decided to spend the morning out and about. The older two were at preschool so it was just me and the baby. I loaded my bag with enough snacks to last the morning and headed to Target. My original intention in shopping was to find some workout clothes. I have been debating over joining a gym and figured I’d need a couple pairs of workout pants in order to, you know, work out. It’s not rocket science, but dressing the part helps motivate me.

But, I found nothing. All they had were these horrible clingy type workout pants with some weirdo micro-dual layer water keeper offer thing. I got confused, had an anxiety attack and left the department. Plus, if I could actually fit my ass into those type of tight workout pants I wouldn’t need to join a gym and I could tell the fella that keeps trying to get me to sign up, ‘F**k you! I don’t need your gym. I’m skinny and these workout pants make my ass look fierce!”

But, I digress.

I decided instead to harass the guy in the electronics department as I hunted for the newly released game that Hubby has been dying to play. I asked him a million questions about it and finally he just told me it was okay if I wanted to pay for the rest of my stuff up front. I’m sure he was happy to see me go.

The baby and I headed over to the mall next and had a swell time going from store to store. I stocked up on my vitamins, drooled over some cute Spring handbags, and even managed to find a cute top at Old Navy.

We left the mall with just enough time to grab lunch before we had to pick up my son from preschool. And, because I’m weird and lack the confidence to eat by myself in public, we ran through the drive through and ate in the car in the Home Depot parking lot. Sad, huh.

I read a bit from my book and she passed out with a fry hanging from her mouth. I guess all the shopping tired her little butt out.

But, we’re home now and ready to tackle the chores of the afternoon. I must say, though, that between my haircut last week and shopping this week I’m actually starting to feel like a girl. This taking care of mommy business is alright.

Filed Under: shopping

It’s a domino effect

February 5, 2009 by Neena 7 Comments

One of the blogs I read regularly, Musings of a Housewife, recently had a fabulous giveaway involving this gorgeous laptop bag! Sadly, I didn’t win the giveaway, but I can’t seem to get my mind off the bag. It’s yummy and leather and sending me subliminal messages that involve me buying it, monogramming it, and filling it with my one true love, Macbook.

So I went to the website and did some ‘mock’ shopping. You know, where you pick out all this stuff, choose your sizes and colors, put it in your virtual shopping cart, but never actually purchase said items.

I think I need to give a heads up and let you know that this kind of shopping is much easier when the husband is not home. If he’s here he’ll just think you’re weird. And, if you do this at an actual store (fill up your cart and then decide not to buy anything), well that just seems to send him over the edge.

But, I don’t know why he would be mad. He’s the one that doesn’t understand the therapeutic value of what we’re doing here.

Anyway…

While mock shopping I ran across this lovely little creation:

It, too, is soft and leather and sophisticated and making googly eyes at me via the Internet. And, of course now I’m thinking I need to update my wardrobe a bit so that I have the sass and style to pull of one (or both) of these bags.

But, how can I update my wardrobe when most of the stores are already carrying stuff for Spring and I’m still walking billboard for the ‘White Chicks that Need Tans’ organization!?

So I guess the first step is a vacation to the Bahamas to work on my tan. But before I can jet to the Bahamas I must get a mani-pedi and go for a little whoo-whoo hair cut.

I’ll come back looking refreshed and stunning. Then I’ll strut through the mall and purchase a few fabulous outfits that will make the bag I choose look even better (if that is really possible!)

I ran this idea by my hubby and all I got was “Would you just buy the damn bag already!?”

Yea, if it were just that easy. What fantasy world is he living in!

Filed Under: shopping

menfolk

November 13, 2008 by Neena 1 Comment

I gets tons of catalogs in the mail on a weekly basis. This phenomenon is increased ten fold from about mid October to mid January in an attempt to show me everything I need and want for the holiday and post holiday season. Add to that the thousands of catalogs my mother in law gets and passes on to the children so they can oogle all the toy goodies and you’ve got yourself a family virtually responsible for destroying a good portion of the trees, rain forests, dolphins, and spotted owl population.

Okay, that is a bit dramatic, but it is a good thing we recycle.

Anyway, today we got a toy catalog from WalMart. Now I know most people detest WalMart and I happen to be one of those people. The only reason I grocery shop there is because they do, in fact, have the best prices for what I buy. But, trust me when I tell you that I hate myself every moment that I’m there. So, we get this toy book for the upcoming holiday season and who is it addressed to?

Hubby. It is addressed to Hubby. Mr. Daddy.

I am dumbfounded as to why on Earth they would send him the catalog!!! He does not make the weekly menu and grocery list! He does not stand there waiting aimlessly each week to find anything but an express lane open. He does not bother the non English speaking produce guy for better cucumbers. No! He does not make sure the pharmacy has our updated insurance information and the dairy section carries my preferred brand of yogurt. Nope. Is he the one that neatly writes out the Christmas shopping list and keeps secret notes of what they children want Santa to bring them? Does he watch the ads to see who is having the best sale on the stupid Crayola GlowBright thing that our daughter would love? I don’t think so!!

He does nothing at WalMart but drool over the pretty video games, fondle the latest DVD releases, and point out all the bad Chinese food that would taste so good. So, why did they dare sent the catalog to him?

I don’t know the answer to that, but today I did my shopping at Kroger.

It was my personal protest. Kind of like burning my bra, but with a lot less flames and burning and stuff. I’m just sayin’…

Filed Under: daily grind, protest, shopping

the perfect day

August 16, 2008 by Neena 4 Comments

I feel the need to be a bit indulgent tonight. I feel like indulging myself with a fantasy. I want to explore a deep-seated, selfish, and unbelievably satisfying fantasy that I have had for four years. And, no, not that kind of fantasy. Get your mind out of the gutters, people! We’re G-rated here in MamaNeena Land. When the kids go to bed we may up it to PG-13, but that’s it!

I have this fantasy of what the perfect day without children would be like. Oh, I can barely say it out loud as I choke back the tremendous amount of mommy guilt I feel thinking about such a thing. A day with out children…a perfect day without children. Okay, I’m over it…let’s indulge a little, huh…

This perfect day would begin early enough in the morning to satisfy the ‘morning person’ that lives within me, but late enough to actually make me feel like I slept in. I would begin this morning after having enjoyed a wonderful, refreshing, and totally energizing night of blissful sleep. Upon waking I would move to the patio where I would quietly enjoy a fresh cup of coffee. I would listen to the birds, enjoy the slight breeze, and appreciate the clouds that are lingering (as they would keep me from being blinded from the sun before I’ve had the chance to load myself with caffeine.)

I would proceed to shower and get dressed in a cute, comfortable, and stylish outfit that magically fits and exists in my closet. I’d pour myself some coffee to go, grab my bag, my camera, my laptop, and head out to enjoy a bit of the day.

I would spend this perfect day taking pictures, shopping, eating at my favorite restaurant, writing at the local coffeehouse, and never worrying about kids, chores, projects, people, or responsibility. I would spend all the time I wanted browsing at the local bookstore. I would take the time to try on clothes, indulge in expensive footwear, and only buy items that genuinely make me feel good or sexy or confident.

I’d head home happy with my time spent out in the world. I might partake of a nap once I arrived back at my destination, but maybe not. I would unpack my purchases, slip into the most comfortable lounge clothes I have, pour myself a glass of wine, pile up on the couch, and get lost in a novel for a few hours.

I would end my day crawling back in to that wonderful bed that gave me such blissful sleep and proceed to take advantage of it all over again. Oh, yes, my friends. That fantasy is glorious and phenomenal and everything a tired mommy could want. And, truthfully I’m so generous in my fantasies that I’d even let the hubby come along…as long as he…

Oh, crap!!!!

**Nothing like a poopy pull-up, an attack from a stuffed polar bear, and the need for burp cloths to pull you back to reality**

oh, well…a girl can dream…

Filed Under: coffee, daily grind, fantasy, perfect day, photos. self, shopping

married folks, date night, and random thoughts

August 3, 2008 by Neena 6 Comments

only when you’ve been married forever can shopping for bras, a robe, and a nightgown be somewhat romantic
only when you’ve been married forever can you go ahead and order more garlic rolls because you’ll cancel each other out later
only when you’ve been married forever do you prefer to sit in the car quietly as you drive to your date – not because you don’t have anything to say, but because you just left a house of loud children and, well, the silence is freakin‘ wonderful
only when you’ve been married forever can you go on a date, shop, have dinner, debate/decide and rent two movies, and drive home all before the baby goes down at 7:30
only when you’ve been married forever can all this add up to a rather perfect evening…that ends with two tired parents in bed by 9:30

Filed Under: date, hubby, love, shopping

Shopping 101

July 26, 2008 by Neena 6 Comments

Mia and I spent the day shopping with my mother-in-law. We traveled to several stores and malls to provide Mia with a wealth of Pre-K clothes and shoes. We forced the poor child to try on numerous pants, dresses, and shirts so that we, as fashionistas ourselves, could judge her new school look. The trip was ultimately successful. We returned home this afternoon with numerous bags of clothing and shoes, one tired and constipated child, and a healthy dose of retail therapy. I would certainly go so far as to say that Mia and her “Ma” did their part to boost the economy today. And, what did I do on this girlie day? I resisted the urge to fart in my mother-in-law’s car and graciously waited until she dropped us off this afternoon. I’d say that’s being about as ladylike as I get!

Happy Saturday…I’m off to bed early.