Sunday Chaos

Yesterday we spent 12 hours in the car driving from Ohio to Georgia with 3 kids, a car full of luggage, and a UHAUL pulling behind us containing the precious content that is my grandmother’s piano.

Despite never getting above 65 miles per hour, we made it home in one piece – as did the piano.

As soon as we arrived home I made a giant pot of coffee and took a long bath so I could shave my legs.  When you mother almost wets herself when she sees how hairy your legs are you know it’s time to take care of business.  Two razors later I was back to being human – or at least acceptable as a woman.

This morning our friend Ben came over bright and early (on his birthday, no less!) to help us move the piano into the house.  We got it situated, talked about how to find someone to tune the piano, and decided to return our UHAUL before church.  We drove to the location we were told and found out that they no longer accept UHAUL returns – even though they had 47 signs outside indicating they, indeed, take UHAUL business.  But, whatever.  Andy dropped me and the kids off to church and headed to find another location to return the massive trailer.  He picked us up after church and informed us that we needed to drive 30 minutes away to return the damn thing.  Despite passing 2 very good UHAUL locations on our route, we ended up getting it dropped off at some place called “Jim Bob’s Bait and Tackle” or something like that.

Then we picked up the dogs.  And ran to the grocery store.  And started the massive pile of laundry.  And tried to attack the unpacking with a vengeance.

We’ve had so much to do to get back in the routine and get the kids ready for school tomorrow that I ended up skipping my department’s Christmas party in favor of working through the chaos and cooking my family a nice dinner.

Well, I screwed up the fried chicken, I’m pretty sure there are at least 10 piles left in my living room, and UHAUL has a letter coming there way.

But, damn it’s good to be home.

oh, brother

We are here.  We are settled in at my parents’ house in Ohio.  The kids are crazy, hopped up on sugar, and eating up the whole grandparent overload agenda.

I’m still looking for a quiet corner to analyze my data.  I’m beginning to think it’s a lost cause.  Oh, well.  Who needs a PhD anyway?!

We got to visit my brother tonight and get the grand tour of his new house.  He and his wife have no kids – just an oversized teddy bear of a doberman.  I was so impressed with how clean and decorated the house was that I immediately considered abandoning this whole motherhood thing for a house with no fingerprints and crap that actually stays in its place.  And I’d serious consider selling my soul for their gorgeous kitchen.

Then I came to my senses and realized I’d miss these little people that hang on me and contain infinite amounts of energy.

When we loaded the kids in the car after our visit to his beautiful home he looked at me all exhausted-like and said “Is this what it’s like for you everyday?!”

Brother, you have no freaking idea.

Why I Can’t Write – Day 19

I’m too busy and too excited trying to get ready to go visit my family in Ohio for Thanksgiving.  I’ve got packing to do, Christmas presents to buy, kids to duct tape tame for the car ride, and a Girl Scout parade to participate in before we can officially leave.

I haven’t been home in 2 years.  My brother and his wife will both be there and not stationed in the Middle East, I get to try my first deep-fried turkey, and we get to bring my grandmother’s gorgeous piano home with us.

To give me some guilt-free time with my family I’m going to try to analyze a good bit of my data during the 12 hour car ride if I can keep from getting car sick.  If you see someone vomiting out the car window in the West Virginia mountains it’s probably me.  Just keep moving along – I prefer to suffer silently.  It helps my martyr status.  *snort*

There are 2 Basset Hounds in my back yard

I found them hanging out on my porch this morning.  No tags.  No ID.  They were just sitting there all sad and pathetic like.  And, the one looks like she just had babies.

I’m trying to code data here! What on Earth do I need with 2 of the saddest looking dogs on the planet giving me puppy faces from the front porch?!

Nonetheless, I brought them into the back yard, fed them a bowl of food, and decided I’d do my good deed for the day and find the owners.

I’ve made signs, called the vet, sent out alerts to our neighborhood HOA, and spent a good bit of the day looking out the window at any cars driving slow as if they were looking for dogs in that creepy abduction kind of way.

I’ve had no luck.

So now they are spending the night in my back yard, my dogs have been peeing out front all day, and I’m just praying the owners call in the morning.  Otherwise I’m going to have to call the shelter to come get them.

The bottom line: Tag your dogs, people!!  I’m trying to be helpful here, but my 1000 pages of data to code need to take precedence over your sad looking puppies.  M’kay?!

Why I Can’t Write – Day 15

I’m too busy having a mental breakdown about how I’m going to get all this data analysis done and the last chapters of my dissertation written before my pending May graduation.

I may need to give up sleep.

And start a coffee I.V.

We are leaving in a few days to go visit my parents and family in Ohio for Thanksgiving.  I’m hoping for some uninterrupted work time while I’m there.  I doubt that will be a problem since I’m pretty they’re dying to see the babies and just tolerate me because I’m the breeder.

Just kidding.

Why I Can’t Write – Day 14

Because I’m too busy trying to get my kids to make their Christmas lists.

I don’t have the energy to take guesses or shop in a leisurely manner this year.

I’ll gladly give them my list…if they would ask for it.  You know, in case they need an example.

Otherwise everyone is getting sweaters – and this cookie jar as a communal gift:

cookies optional

oops I missed a day

Guess I was too busy being thankful for Pepto-Bismol.

And doing laundry…

And forgetting to recognize my 4 year blogging anniversary last week.  
Oh, and mothering all my children.  
So I guess November will now be known as NABLOPOMO minus one day for diarrhea.  Just being honest.  

I now have new knowledge thanks to the honey badger

I am so buying a honey badger t-shirt.  Kudos, Randall.

Why I Can’t Write – Day 10

Because I’m too busy trying to finish the ultimate romance novel: The Thorn Birds

Figured it was time I added some classic trash to my typical reading.

Why I Can’t Write – Day 8

Because I’m too busy contemplating how to respond to my 7 year old’s latest school project:  design your own Native American.

yes, you read that correctly.

Now, call me crazy but this assignment seems to be just a bit…oh, wrong.  Stereotypical, borderline racist, and a tad inappropriate for 2nd grade.

What’s next…design your own Negro slave for Black history month?  Create your own Mexican border jumper?

This whole thing is new to my parenting repertoire and I’m not sure what to do.