Sweet Mia

Sweet Mia,
Seven years ago you came to me.  You entered the world smiling and you’ve brightened my days ever since.  Still so young in age, you are my child that is the epitome of old at heart.  
I often wonder if you are turning 75 rather than seven.  Perhaps I should have wrapped up knitting supplies and old episodes of Matlock for your birthday instead of toys and clothes.  I’m sure you would have used them to knit yourself a shawl.  And I love that about you.  
I love that you would rather read Little House in the Big Woods and The Diary of Ann Frank than engage in the tomfoolery of childhood.  I love that you see the world in a blue haze of learning, questioning, and discovering.  I love that your favorite place in the whole world is in your daddy’s lap.  
I love that you often play Mother Hen and worry about saving your money to buy a house someday.  I love that you asked my permission to take your someday husband to Hawaii.  And, I love that you want to buy a house right down the street from me.  
You might just be my child that never leaves.  And, I look forward to the day when we sit, wrapped in our shawls, sharing a cup of hot tea, and recalling all our health ailments and qualms about the government.  

Happy 7(5th?) Birthday, sweet girl.  I’ll gladly grow old with you.  
Love,
Mommy

six

My Beautiful Girl,
Today you turn six. Today you celebrate the birthday you’ve been counting down since before Christmas. You’re no long 5 3/4, but a full blown six year old.
I happen to believe you’re much older than your simple six years. You’re my child that aches to grow up. You enjoy dreaming and pretending what it will be like when you’re an adult. You constantly tell me about college, the husband you’ll have someday, and the golden retriever that will cuddle by your feet in the house you build.
As much as I can’t wait to see the woman you become, I love taking comfort in the little girl that you are. You’re my swimmer, my reader, my Daisy Scout. You love skirts and shoes that make you run fast. You color and draw and paint your own magical worlds. You love scrambled eggs, picking off your pepperoni, and sweet tea. You’re a champion bubble blower and a phenomenal student. You’re smart, beautiful, and kind and I’m lucky to be your mother.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl! You are so amazingly loved!

What ever happened to recess in The South!?

I recently wrote this for Deep South Moms, but would love to get more feedback on the issue.

My oldest child started Kindergarten this past Fall in what I would consider a typical public school here in the Deep South. It’s not too big and not too small; it’s just a typical suburban school. I remember when she started school that she was so excited to learn. She couldn’t wait to read and loved practicing her handwriting so that she could keep a journal ‘just like mommy.’ She was eager to leave for school each day and couldn’t wait to return to school the next.

That excitement began to wear off as the school year moved along and it didn’t surprise me at all. But, what I didn’t realize until recently, is that her lack of excitement may very well be boredom. She comes home from school with a backpack full of worksheets. Countless worksheets. She doesn’t tell me much about what she does at school because, according to her, they don’t do much of anything. I figured she was just being a bit dramatic in her recall of school events. Until she told me about recess.

The other morning we were looking for her extra hat and gloves before she left for school when she informed me that her class doesn’t take recess outside anymore.

“What do you mean you don’t go outside and play anymore?”

“Well, we have not gone outside for a while and my teacher said we won’t go outside fore the rest of the year because it’s too cold to play outside.”

“What!?”

“We still have recess, though.”

“Oh, do you just play in the gym?”

“No, usually we just watch TV.”

I was shocked. Shocked. My brilliant child is spending her recess time watching TV. Not only is she being inundated with countless worksheets throughout the day, but she isn’t even given time to run and play and get fresh air. I have not talked to the teacher or the school yet, but here in the South it’s rarely too cold to play outside. I grew up far North of here and I can tell you without a doubt that there certainly are kids having recess in December above the Mason-Dixon line!

Once the shock wore off a bit I was faced with the question of whether my child is actually receiving a quality education. Sure, we do our best at home to supplement, encourage, and provide other learning opportunities. But, the bulk of her education is supposed to be happening at school – the place she spends a good six hour a day. And, it isn’t. She’s coming home bored, defeated, and without the excitement to learn that I’ve seen in her since she was old enough to sit on her own. She’s losing it. She’s losing a love of learning and a love of school before she ever really gets started. I don’t know what the solution is, but I know that, as a parent, I will do anything in my power to try and fix the situation.

Maybe it’s as simple as a bit of fresh air during recess. Or, maybe it’s dependent on something bigger – like homeschooling. I do know that we better figure it out pretty darn quick! I would hate to have her lose that love of learning before she’s really even gotten started.

I’ve left her there in the abyss of learning

Is it time to pick her up yet?

Kindergarten Orientation

Last night we took our oldest to meet her teacher and explore the school that will become hers as of Monday. She was so excited to see her classroom, meet new friends, and tell anyone that would listen that she was about to be in kindergarten.

She immediately ran in and hugged her teacher and introduced herself as if making an acquaintance was something she’d been doing for years. She giggled at the site of the decorated walls, walked curiously around the room to survey her surroundings, and showed no sign that she was anything but at ease.
Her face glowed and in that moment I knew exactly what it looks like when someone is excited about learning.
Then I felt my heart break. Just a little.
I was forced into a position that is never easy for a parent. It’s that moment in time when you want more than anything to cuddle your baby and keep them safe and protected from the world, but know in your heart that it’s time to let them try their wings. It’s that moment when you hope and pray that you’ve gotten something right in the last five years so that when your child does take those first steps she’s confident in herself. It’s that moment when you know that you must put aside your own fears and worries and embrace the wonderful excitement bursting from your child.
And, it’s not easy.
But, we do these things because we know we have to. We know we must let them venture a bit and see the beauty and knowledge and wonder that the world has in store for them. We must stand quietly in the background, ready to support or rescue at a moment’s notice, and watch them take those first big steps.
And, we must smile.
And wave.
And blow a few extra kisses to the wind.
And wait patiently for her to return so we may hug her close again.
Good luck, Princess. The world awaits you…

filling out paperwork

I’m sitting here filling out the massive amount of paperwork required to register my daughter for kindergarten.  

KINDERGARTEN!

Wednesday we’ll take this paperwork and the numerous forms of proof we need to show that we: 
a) are citizens
b) actually live in this county
c) we are indeed her parents
We’ll do all this with the understanding that, come Fall, we’ll be sending out daughter out to be educated with the masses.  
Does this thought terrify anyone else but me?  
My beautiful, wildly intelligent daughter is growing old; old enough to leave the comfort of our home and embark on the journey to get some knowledge.  
Is she really old enough??
What happened to my precious little girl that wore footie pajamas?  Where’s the child I knew that couldn’t understand how to pump her legs on the swings?  Where’s the child that couldn’t wait to share everything with her mommy and daddy?  Where’s that silly girl that used to dance to any music she would hear with the least amount of rhythm possible?  
She’s be replaced with a girl that is anxious to lose her first tooth and always asks to bathe herself.  She’s smart, attentive, anxious to learn, and full of thousands of questions.  She’s now the girl that demands bathroom privacy and always wants to keep her bedroom door shut. She’s the child that refuses to shop at Stride Rite because they don’t sell cool shoes like Sketchers.  
She’s now the girl that has become aware of boys.  
Stinky, smelly, icky boys.  

She’s 5 going on 30.  
(and the exact definition of why parents drink)

The last 24 hours have officially turned my brain to mushy mush

I’m just going to have my coffee this morning by snorting crushed beans mixed with powdered milk.  That’s all I have time to do.  

Between end of school parties, pink eye, grocery shopping, getting out of jury duty, hunting for tomato cages, final tee ball games, and an unexpected trip to Urgent Care I’m ready to forfeit.  
But, until I survive another trip to the doctor for a 105 fever in my daughter and somehow manage to attend the end of school picnic, I think I’m out of luck.  
Perhaps I shall write something of substance for Monday.  And, let us hope that it doesn’t include another pimple story because, really, this is getting kinda gross.  

tug

Every Monday my daughter is required to bring in three pictures that represent the letter they will be studying that week.  Actually, it isn’t necessarily required as much as it is recommended.  

I didn’t send pictures in one week because I plum forgot and there was no Pre-k homework police that came calling, so I just naturally concluded about the whole ‘recommended.’  I bet you’re glad you know all that, huh!?
We started off this weekly assignment by looking through magazines on Friday and then cutting out the pictures for the next week’s letter.  Yes, I am one of those lame parents that is all about the homework being done before the weekend.  But, I’m also a totally sucky parent because I gave up on magazines and scissors because the process was enough to make me start eating my hair.  It consisted of an hour of ‘um, um, um’ in sync with the sound of flipping pages.  
AHHH!!!  
So instead we have resorted to having her tell me words that begin with the letter and we cut and paste pictures from Google.  I figure she’s getting some computer skills and I’m not eating hair.  
The letter for the upcoming week is ‘T’
I forgot to have her do this Friday and realized right before bed tonight that we needed to get it done.  I asked for a ‘T’ word and she gave me ‘turtle.’  
Good job.  Moving on.
Next, she gave me ‘tug.’  Okay great.  
The first pictures to pop up were of all different types of tugboats.  Since she really had no idea what a ‘tugboat’ was I asked her if she was referring to ‘tug’ and in ‘tug of war.’  She was so we started looking for pictures of that.  
The first tug picture we came across after getting on the same page about ‘tug’ was of a bunch of naked cartoon Hawaiian men.  

She didn’t like that picture so we started scrolling down the page for the right picture.  

Imagine my surprise when this was the next photo we saw.








family toilet lore…

A couple weeks ago Hubby and I spent a Saturday fixing the toilet in the bathroom our kids use.  It should be noted that by ‘we’ I mean he fixed the toilet and I ran kid interference while they attempted to ask their father a billion question about toilets, God, birthdays, and farts.  For some reason I always get that job, but whatever!

This toilet has become well know in our house and throughout the family.  It always clogs, wiggles when we sit on it, and, according to Mia, has been broken several times by the sheer size of her poopy.  This particular toilet never gave us much trouble until my mother paid us a visit.  It was during one of her routine visits that she managed to break the toilet with what we now call her ‘Satanic Ass Lava.’  Let me just say that even if I didn’t love and adore my husband I would stay with him out of sheer respect – the man had to clean up the S.A.L that my mother left and never complained – even without a gas mask.  
So, we spent a couple hours on a Saturday and two trips to the home improvement store making the toilet as good as new.  It hasn’t clogged since and has yet to wiggle under the sheer volume of my ass.  Problem solved.  The toilet is good as new, all is right with the world, and my mother isn’t due for a visit for a while.  
But, yesterday I had some of my own issues with an upset tummy.  As any parent knows this always hits at the most inconvenient time.  Not there is ever a convenient time for the ‘rrhea, but anyway!  I ran to the bathroom- one kid crawling and screaming at me – one kids in desperate need of finding his spider and cricket – and one kid that felt now was the time for conversation:
Mia:  Mommy, what are you doing?
Me: I’m going potty sweetheart.  
Mia: But, you ran really fast to the bathroom.  We don’t run in the house.
Me: Well, honey, mommy’s tummy is really upset and I needed to go potty.  
Mia:  Oh, do you have diarrhea like Grandma did when she broke the potty?
Me: Uh, I guess you could say that.  
Mia:  Well, don’t break our potty.  Daddy just fixed it.  
I seriously think I need to start closing the door.  I’m not about to become the butt of more toilet jokes.  No pun intended.  

the mind of an artist

My precious daughter, Mia, is our little artist.  Since an early age she has shown an interest in coloring, painting, crafts, and all the creative aspects of a kid world.  Recently she has started drawing.  She is creating her own pictures through her mind’s eye.  As a mother I think this is just wonderful.  I think it is great to have original works of art to hang on the fridge that were completely and totally made from scratch and without any real rules or direction.  Today she brought home this lovely picture…


Me:  Mia, this is beautiful.  

Mia: Yea, I drew that at school today. 
Me: Well, I think it’s fancy!  But, why are the people frowning?
Mia:  Because they are sad.
Me:  And, why are they sad?
Mia:  Because they lost their parents.
Me:  What do you mean they lost their parents?
Mia:  Well, their parents were fired!
Me: Like from a job?
Mia:  No, mommy!  They were in a fire with smoke detectors and stuff and they got fired!
Hey, I just claimed to like the drawing.  I never claimed to actually understand art.