life - hooey!critic

So, um…how was your weekend?

September 23, 2012 by Neena 3 Comments

This weekend didn’t turn out at all like I expected. I’m not saying it was bad in any way…just different.

Friday night the kids and I had and impromptu dinner out with their best little buddies. Since the hubby was working late I figured a trip to the Mexican restaurant would go over much better than leftovers. Us moms chatted and enjoyed the fact that the kids essentially entertained themselves. That meant that we got to actually eat our food…before it got cold!

Saturday was supposed to be date day with hubby. Sadly, he ended up having to work so the day took on a very different turn. I went for a haircut and color in the morning and my in-laws were kind enough to take the kids to karate so I didn’t have to cancel my appointment. I left the salon feeling sassy and looking forward to an afternoon nap before dropping the older kids off for Parents Night Out at their dojo – 25 bucks and 5 hours of kid free time on a Saturday night is a total deal! They feed them and everything! Anyway, after the kids were home for karate my friend called and asked if I would come with her to adopt some cats. Long story short – she lives on a horse farm and there is a rather large mouse problem. The co-op decided to adopt a few cats that would live in the barn and belong to the community of horse owners.

We went everywhere looking for these animals. Local adoptions, animal control – all of which wouldn’t necessarily agree to the idea of barn cats. We ended up finding a “free kittens” sign on the side of the road, called the number, and left with a mama cat and her two babies. Oh my cuteness!

two baby girl kittens – bailey and marley

After dropping the kids off for their night at the dojo we ended up heading out to buy supplies, get tags, and then back to her place to settle them in the barn for the night. I came home exhausted, smelling like strange animal, and desperate for a bath. Since date night was off by that point the hubby and I just sat around and watched TV before I passed out around 9:30. All I can say is I’m glad he remembered to pick up the kids at 10:00 pm since I was pretty useless on the couch.

We got up this morning and decided to take the kids to breakfast. We all ate more than we could, came home with upset tummies, and proceeded to do a couple of hours of housework before heading off to the county fair. We ate terrible food, forced all the kids to ride the ferris wheel, and spent way too much money winning three of the ugliest stuffed animals ever. The fun and smiles and exhaustion – totally worth it.

We came home to more laundry, chili in the crock pot, and a quiet evening around the house. That is exactly what was needed after the weird chaos of the weekend.

Tonight I plan to make a cup of coffee, quickly write my grocery list, and fall asleep reading something completely trashy. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and with it the chaos of another busy week of activities, carpool, errands, working on Project: Underblog, and the mess of other things I haven’t yet remembered. Happy Sunday, folks.

Filed Under: life

learning experiences

December 3, 2010 by Neena 2 Comments

I like to think that most things in life are learning experiences. There are time when we are all faced with difficult situations, difficult people, and situations that require reflection to fully understand their impact and capacity.

Sometimes it take time to fully grasp what we can learn from such experiences. Sometimes it takes marathon phone calls with your mom in Ohio to feel better about a situation. Sometimes it takes tears, talking it through, and gaining outside perspectives to really understand exactly what you’re supposed to gain from facing such difficult people and difficult situations.

When all that is done I like to believe that I come out the other side a better person with a life lesson that will better both me and my future experiences.

But, before all that can happen sometimes it would be nice to just yell F*%K You! and flip the bird like a twelve year old.

Wanna guess what stage I’m currently in!?

Filed Under: life, stress

10 things that have got to be better than reading this book

August 26, 2010 by Neena 4 Comments

So, classes are in full swing. I’m knee deep in articles, assignments, and other PhD responsibilities – one of which includes reading this book:

A page turner, I know! I have to read this entire book by Tuesday – All 200 and some pages of it. It’s long and wordy and full of all kinds of scientific mumbo-jumbo. It’s like being stuck in a room with an old dude that gives the most boring lectures of all time while the class tries to keep from drooling and sleeping on the desks.

So, here are 10 things I’d rather be doing than reading this book:

running backwards and naked through a cornfield.
sliding down a banister of razors and landing in a pool of alcohol
watching a Sponge Bob marathon
living in a Turkish prison
cleaning any of the bathrooms featured on Hoarders
having hemorrhoid surgery
taking a shock treatment to my genitals
listening to Justin Bieber on repeat
cutting off all my hair with dull scissors
taking a vacation in the snake room from Indiana Jones

I’m twisted, I know.

But, this book is seriously boring!!!!

I’d much rather be reading about unicorns.

Filed Under: book, life

Go hug someone…

August 24, 2010 by Neena 1 Comment

I saw this video on another blog this morning. Sometimes it’s like the world is just speaking to me – and it knows exactly what I need to hear.

Go hug someone today.

Hug them hard. And long.

And hold their hand.

That’s all it really takes.

And, if there isn’t anyone to hug – hug yourself. You’re pretty freaking wonderful, too.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

Filed Under: life, video

Domestication Overdrive

August 23, 2010 by Neena 3 Comments

Today I went into domestication overdrive.

And now I’m all sweaty and ready for some soap operas and bonbons.

Thank God for the season finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight…if I can make it until 10:00.

We went out of town this weekend for my niece’s baptism. I came home to a gigantic list of duties that did nothing but solidify my domestic status…and my need for the weather to cool down.

I washed, folded, and put away 47 loads of laundry. Actually it was only 8.
I made the menu and grocery list and shopped for a week’s worth of food and necessities.
I went to the pharmacy and picked up an inhaler for one child and some sort of cream for another.
I retrieved the dog from the vet – and cursed the fact that I turned down free dog sitting when I read the $125 bill.
I made poop cookies – also known as no bake cookies – so my children could have a homemade snack after school.
I supervised homework.
I made beef and bean minestrone soup for tonight’s dinner.
I made a Greek casserole for tomorrow night’s dinner since I’ll be knee deep in theory an hour away in my class.
I cleaned up dinner and the kitchen by default.
I brushed teeth and hair and distributed all necessary medicines, creams, and inhalers.
I packed lunches, signed papers, reorganized backpacks, and set out tomorrow’s outfits.
I cleaned up cat vomit. Twice.

I still need to sweep the kitchen and vacuum the house.

I’m just not gonna.

Not tonight.

Tonight I’m going to finish the thousands of pages of reading I have to do for my classes, contemplate waxing my mustache, and hope for the energy to actually shave my legs.

The end.

Filed Under: daily grind, house, life

Just a Mom

August 13, 2010 by Neena 9 Comments

It’s not often that I feel really out of place. Most of the time I can find a niche just about anywhere or learn to fit with my surroundings. I tend to be able to make conversation fairly easily and I’m not really intimidated by trying something new. In a group of bloggers I feel at home. I feel like I’ve found my people – those that just ‘get you’ – no judgement, no explanations.

What I adore the most about being back in school is that it feels like the right fit – similar to the way blogging does. I’ve talked before about the good friends I’ve made and the sense of community that has sprung from the most odd ensemble of people. We just clicked.

But things can just as easily un-click when you least expect it.

As much as I wish I felt like I fit this year I don’t think I do. That world that I became so attached to has morphed into something with new people, new offices, and new opportunities – none of which I’m a part of. I’m not teaching a class or diving into a fancy, new assistantship. I’m not working with a team on a publishable paper or presenting at a conference.

I’m just a mom.

That somehow got accepted into a PhD program.

I’ll never be in a situation where I can experience this the way they can. I’ll never live close enough to enjoy a game of tennis on a whim or go out for drinks. I’ll never be involved enough or close enough to participate in office banter and jokes. I’ll never be a part of the same world they are.

I’m just a mom.

I’ve never understood why using the phrase ‘just a _____’ was so harsh until now. It’s like being segregated from something by no fault of your own – just the circumstances of life. I sat in a room yesterday with people that I felt so incredibly close to just a few short months ago. But, in the moment, I realized that connection had passed. It was as if an entire dance was happening around me and I just couldn’t quite find the rhythm.

Somehow I missed the boat.

Somehow being just a mom that happened to get accepted to a PhD program is not enough to break down the barriers that exist merely from having slightly different circumstances. Somehow I’ve ended up on the sidelines, without a niche, and farther from being a part of the department family than I ever thought possible.

Existing in two worlds is difficult, but I thought I’d done pretty well until now.

But, at the end of the day, I must realize that some things just don’t fit. And, that’s okay.

It has to be.

So instead I blog. I put it here because “here” is the one place that actually gets it – gets the ‘just a mom’ part of me and welcomes that stance with solidarity and understanding. I say these things here because nowhere else can my voice be heard so clearly. And that makes the fact that my worlds don’t collide a little less hurtful.

Filed Under: back to school, life, PhD

Courting

September 8, 2009 by Neena 6 Comments

I remember when my husband was courting me many years ago. We didn’t live in the same state at the time so our courting rituals were usually limited to the weekends. There were the phone calls that lasted for hours, filled with meaningful discussions of literature, politics, family, and the future. There were little notes left in the mail and the occasional floral arrangement delivered in the afternoon. There were the smiles, the electric energy of just holding hands, and the stares from across the table that could easily rip through your soul.

There were the dinners that you wanted to last forever because nothing could be more amazing than the conversation and the company of this person. Right here. Right now.

Then there was the sex.

Oh, the sex.

It was that raw, uninhibited, power sex that left you exhausted, satisfied, and completely understanding of every scene ever described in a romance novel. You’d go through the motions of dating just to get to the next point where you could be naked together. And, it didn’t matter if you ever left the bedroom – food and drink could be delivered and you already stocked up on condoms and cigarettes before the weekend even arrived.

It was blissful. And, you begin to think that this could be it. You could easily spend the rest of your life enjoying the thrills of conversation and sex with this person.

So, you do it. You make it all legal in front of God and family. You take his name and you both makes all the promises you can that will possibly help you capture and bottle the feelings you are having right at that very moment.

And then it stops.

The flowers are less frequent. The kids and the stress from work leave you too tired to do anything more than touch feet under the covers. You find yourself not caring as much about your appearance and he rarely brushes his teeth before coming in for some morning nookie.

The mystery is gone and has been from the moment he saw the head crown five years ago and you asked him to examine something that you were too embarrassed to even show the doctor. You find yourself rolling your eyes at his antics and he doesn’t find your quirks nearly as endearing as they once were.

You become stuck. You become routine.

You become like everyone else even though you vowed you’d never let it happen.

Date night now are usually spent stocking up on diapers and ass wipes at the local warehouse store and finding a restaurant that isn’t too expensive, won’t cause heartburn, and won’t be so noisy that you won’t be able to notice the fact that your not talking much anyway.

Phone conversations now come when one or both of you are distracted by the mountain of tasks on your plate and usually consist of asking how the other is doing while not really able to handle or do anything if the answer is anything beyond ‘fine.’ You remember to say ‘I love you’ hoping that if the words are said enough it’ll help the rest take care of itself.

But, it doesn’t because you’re rolling your eyes and he’s only half paying attention to the fact that he’s repeated the same two questions over and over for every phone conversation you’ve had in the last few months.

You don’t even wear your wedding ring anymore because you’ve gotten so fat over the years that the damn thing can’t be sized up anymore. And, you feel weird and unnaturally single walking around with your three kids at the WalMart while the Coca-Cola guy smiles at you. But, who wants to spend money on a ring when the credit card bill is getting bigger, the car payment is due, and you’re desperate for some extra money to buy bras for your boobs that have morphed into something almost unnatural over the years.

You remind each other in passing that maybe, just maybe it’s time to get away and reconnect. It’s time to remember why you like each other. You both agree and then the conversation dies. The ‘getaway’ never happens because of schedules. And life. And money. But, you smile and whisper ‘I love you’ hoping that’ll be enough until you can figure out how to reconnect.

And, in that moment you realize that perhaps you need to court each other in an attempt to fall in love again…

This time as who you’ve become and not who you were…

Filed Under: life, marriage

Who needs plants and trees? A few reasons why the suburbs are overrated

June 28, 2008 by Neena 1 Comment

This weekend suddenly became landscape weekend. What started as a couple plants has turned into much more. We live in a subdivision that is fairly young. Our house was new construction when we bought it back in 2005. We knew immediately upon living in the house through one season that the landscape was crap! I think the builders just threw down some green things over their piles of brick and rock and called it a day. I’m not even sure you can call what we have ‘grass.’
Anyway, in 2006 we my in-laws bought us a professional landscape plan. We’re talking blueprints, pages and pages of instructions, nursery and worker recommendations, etc. It was lovely…until it came time to do the work. That actually brings us to today.
I had three trees and some dirt delivered yesterday because hubby planned to get them in the ground today. That was done by 9:30 this morning. We have since weeded every flower bed around the house, redone the pine straw in all of them, bought and planted 35 lorapetilum, and purchased 21 of some other plant species. We even removed 5 juniper bushes. Don’t get me started on that! I will say, though, that hell for me would be spending eternity pulling out juniper bushes while listening to a teething baby. Enough said!
Hubby is still out working in the Georgia sun. I, sadly, ended up getting dizzy and needed to come in to the AC. It’s well known that I love yard work and think there is no better way to spend my weekend. And, if you didn’t catch my sarcasm, well, there’s no hope for you. So, I’ve showered and am now watching hubby out the front window do some manly work. I think I’ll be moving my butt to the recliner here soon, turning on some toons for the little ones, and engaging my brain in a new trashy romance novel.
Sometimes this suburban thing is really hard work.

Filed Under: daily grind, life, yardwork

Ode to 15!

June 24, 2008 by Neena 3 Comments

Gotta love a tag, especially from such a fun-loving blogger

The rules are: Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize you.

The year was 1993…

I was about to start my freshman year of high school in a town we had just moved to because of a job transfer. I was miserable, had no friends, and completely in love with Keanu Reeves
I graduated high school and moved on to college to study English Education. I was actually one of the few weirdos that entered college knowing exactly what to study!
I met a Southern boy and transferred to a southern university after my sophomore year. He and I moved to Georgia together thinking we would end up married.
Southern boy and I broke up a couple weeks after moving to Georgia when I met the guy who would later become my hubby.
Graduated college and began teaching high school; future hubby got a pacemaker.
Married hubby in 2002 (six years tomorrow, actually). Somewhere in here I got my Master’s degree, bought a house, got a couple dogs, and cut my hair off.
Had a baby girl in 2004 and decided to quit working to be a woman of leisure…ha!
Had a baby boy in 2005 and bought another house
Had a baby girl in 2007
Lived mostly happily ever after…

Here’s to the next 15…

Filed Under: 15, hubby, kids, life, tag

Ode to 15!

June 24, 2008 by Neena Leave a Comment

Gotta love a tag, especially from such a fun-loving blogger

The year was 1993…

I was about to start my freshman year of high school in a town we had just moved to because of a job transfer. I was miserable, had no friends, and completely in love with Keanu Reeves
I graduated high school and moved on to college to study English Education. I was actually one of the few weirdos that entered college knowing exactly what to study!
I met a Southern boy and transferred to a southern university after my sophomore year. He and I moved to Georgia together thinking we would end up married.
Southern boy and I broke up a couple weeks after moving to Georgia when I met the guy who would later become my hubby.
Graduated college and began teaching high school; future hubby got a pacemaker.
Married hubby in 2002 (six years tomorrow, actually). Somewhere in here I got my Master’s degree, bought a house, got a couple dogs, and cut my hair off.
Had a baby girl in 2004 and decided to quit working to be a woman of leisure…ha!
Had a baby boy in 2005 and bought another house
Had a baby girl in 2007
Lived mostly happily ever after…