kids - hooey!critic

Phasing Out

March 3, 2013 by Neena 2 Comments

This past Thursday I went to Muffins for Moms at Charlotte’s preschool. Every year they hold a small brunch to honor all the mammas. The kids make the most adorable crafts and projects to share and they even serve us a meal. It’s one of the sweetest and most treasured events of the year.

And Thursday was my last one.

I’ve attended this event since 2006 with one or more of my babies. I’ve watched their little crafts go from colorful scribbles on a page to showcasing their cute chicken scratch handwriting. I’ve watched them sing the ABC’s and count their numbers and move on to leading a whole classroom in a lunchtime prayer.

These events are designed to make all the mammas misty-eyed. And they’ve never failed to reach that goal. You can sit around and watch a room full of strong women break down when their child stand up and says “I love you a big as the stars in the sky” and presents them with a self-portrait attached to a crepe paper flower pot.

We’ll keep these momentos forever of course. They’ll sit on our desks or live on the refrigerator – held up by the strength of homemade magnets. We might pull them out over the year and be caught in the moments of remembering our babies when they were oh so small.

It’s so bittersweet. Heartbreaking to see them develop into independent little people with ideas and dreams. Exciting to watch those ideas and dreams become something real.

In two months preschool will be over forever. By Fall each of my babies will be in school full-time. I’ll still get to attend classroom parties and I’ll always showcase their school artwork. But the things they create at this age are magical for a different reason. I can’t explain it…just different.

I don’t want to let this phase go. I don’t know that I’m ready to live entirely in the phase of life where I say I’m a mother to kids. Not babies. Not toddlers. I know I must let it go, but just want to savor it a little longer…because this might be the only time they willingly tell the world they love me as big as the stars in the sky.

Charlotte at Muffins for Moms 2013

Filed Under: kids, preschool, reflection

Back to Normal

January 6, 2013 by Neena 1 Comment

My children return to school tomorrow. It has been a looooong holiday break – longer than usual with the new 160 day calendar.

We’ve had a plethora of togetherness over the last few weeks – making cookies, snuggling in our pajamas, viewing Christmas lights on night drives. We’ve painted, crafted, battled it out over board games, and discovered the joy of family croquet.

I may be blacklisted for saying this, but I am one of those moms who believes there is such a thing as too much together time. With all of us home for days at a time we were bound to clash on a few occasions. And, boy did we! I think at one point I was counting down the hours until my in-laws returned from their trip so they could have the children for a day. I’m not quite sure I even stopped the car when I dropped them off there on Friday night. I’m pretty sure I just rolled them down the driveway shouting “Mama loves you!” before I sped off in the throes of freedom.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my children. I’ve given up a career and chosen to spend my days taking care of them. But, the holiday break was just a bit too long. How many knock-knock jokes can you possibly endure!? When does the fart humor lose its luster!? Can anyone tell me where those picture-perfect holiday break families live…because I’d like to knock them upside the head with a tin of stale Christmas cookies.

They need to go back to school. I need them to go back to school. I need silence to start remembering what my normal is. I need to finish a full cup of coffee. I need to run errands and dance and not stop in the middle of a task to get someone a glass of milk or endure the Lego/Hobbit dating game or investigate a slamming door.

I need my normal back. And by 9:00 AM tomorrow it’ll all be mine…every blessed, silent moment of it!

Filed Under: family, holiday, kids

Are School Uniforms The Answer!?

October 22, 2012 by Neena 7 Comments

We have had so many school changes this year – enough to make my head dizzy as I try to schedule and everything that happens in a typical week.

First, our county went from a 180 day calendar to a 160 day calendar. This equates to more breaks, a longer school day, and nearly twice the amount of homework for the kids. The calendar itself is not so bad. It’s the getting home at 4:30 in the afternoon after leaving at 7:45 that tends to make things exhausting for all involved. This doesn’t leave much time in the evenings for activities, homework, dinner, baths, and bedtime. We’ve been in school since August 13th and we are still adjusting. (and we’ve even cut down activities to one per kid this school year as compared with the 2-3 activities last year!)

Second, both of my older kids are in the gifted program this year. I love the program and feel that it is really benefitting my kids. But this means extra projects on a regular basis and a minimum of 40-60 minutes of reading each night. Don’t get me wrong – they love it. But this is on top of their regular class homework and any assignments they miss during the day when they are pulled out to attend their gifted class. And, with the new school schedule I’m sure you can see that this can be quite a struggle in the evening when the kids are already exhausted from a long day.

And there are more changes coming. You’d think I’d be shouting and pulling out my hair at the prospect of anything else changing, but I’m actually kind of excited about this one. The county is in the process of voting whether to switch to school uniforms for the 2013-2014 school year.

They sent home a parent survey today asking us to weigh in on the issue – a “should we” or “shouldn’t we” questionnaire for feedback. I appreciate them asking for use to share our opinions and I was quick to vote a big “yes” on school uniforms. Most of the parents I’ve talked to that already require uniforms say it makes things so much easier. Easier shopping. Easier mornings. Easier focus.

I like the idea of uniforms. No, I love the idea of uniforms. Next year all three kids will be at the same school for the first time ever! They’ll be riding the bus together and will all have the same daily schedule. This excites me beyond belief. And when you throw uniforms in the mix I can only imagine how easy it is to shop and get them dressed in the morning. No discussion of who likes what. No argument over what is cool or if something is too babyish. No discussion beyond getting the right size. And, uniforms are so easy to buy these days. Everyone carries their own version of school uniforms – Lands End, Wal-Mart, Target, Macy’s, JCPenny, etc. There is no special ordering required and the prices are the same (if not cheaper) than what we spend on regular school clothes anyway.

Many parents, though, are adamant that uniforms are a terrible idea. Usually the idea centers on cost. And I imagine that can be a contributing factor in many cases. But, with enough warning that uniforms are coming, the ability to watch the sales, finding local consignment shops, and taking into account what is already spent on clothing I struggle with this argument.

But what are some of the other arguments for or against school uniforms? I’d love to hear what all of you have experienced or how you feel about the issue? Is this going to make my life easier like I imagine or is making yet another change to the school just going to cause more trouble? Weigh in!

Filed Under: academics, kids, school

Gun Safety and Kids

October 14, 2012 by Neena 4 Comments

This summer I learned to shoot. I’ve been to the gun range enough now to be comfortable around guns. My confidence and understanding using a fire arm is increasing and I am glad I’ve taken the time to learn. So it shouldn’t be surprising that my husband recently bought me my first gun.

Keeping guns in the house – it’s something we’ve discussed for years and it’s something it took me a long time to accept. But now we’ve crossed that line and we take it very seriously – which is why we sat down with our children to have a conversation about gun safety. In all honesty they didn’t even know there was a gun in the house up until this conversation. But we wanted to educate them, help them understand, and do our part to be as responsible as possible.

We explained that we have a gun. We explained to them why we have one and allowed them to ask any and all questions to satiate their curiosity. We wanted them to understand the danger, but also to have some knowledge in their pockets just in case. We told them…

Guns are not toys! (and they suddenly understood why we prefer to not allow them to have toy guns. We don’t ever want them to think of them as toys)
The gun is locked away safely and cannot be accessed by anyone other than me or my husband.
They should never touch a gun!
If you come across a gun always assume it is loaded and never point it at yourself or anyone else.
If a friend ever tries to show you a gun you run to an adult immediately (no matter what your friend tries to tell you!)

We made the decision to let them see it. We wanted to be as clear with them as possible about the parts and the danger associated with using them incorrectly. We also talked with each of them about taking a kids gun safety class at our local range so that they could have proper education and understanding. How did they respond to all this? Our oldest cried. Our son asked zombie apocalypse question. And our 4-year-old daughter chose that moment to give us a lecture on scissor safety.

But did they hear us? Did they understand our rules? I believe they did. We questioned and quizzed them later (and even did our own version of role-playing) and they remembered and explained each rule we gave them.

I’m sure some would shout that having a gun in the house with kids is wrong. I’m sure some would even say that we shouldn’t even be talking about this with our kids. Maybe so, but this is the way we chose to handle it…

with responsibility…

with awareness…

with education…

with safety at the front…

Do you talk to your kids about gun safety? How do you handle having fire arms in the house?

Filed Under: kids

Gay Pirates and Polygamy Compliments of the Craft Store

May 30, 2012 by Neena 2 Comments

I took my lovely children to the craft store today. We’ve been looking for different adventures to occupy the long summer days and decided we’d venture to the craft store to see what kind of trouble we could dig up. Plus, the $1.00 coloring books are such a bargain!

We wandered around for over an hour looking at all the things we could do this summer – making t-shirts, paintings, jewelry creation, dioramas, etc. I decided to let the kids each pick out something to do this afternoon. Surprisingly they each decided they wanted to paint a bird house – not for birds to actually use but for their teeny, tiny midget toys to have a place to play. We left with a pirate ship bird house, a log cabin bird house, and a castle bird house.

When we got home I set up the kitchen table with newspaper, towels, paints, and brushes. They sat there laughing, talking, and painting their birdhouses for two hours! No arguments, no fighting – just two hours of laughter, politeness when asking to pass more paint, and imaginations running full force.

I sat in the living room and read a book while they worked on their creations and overheard some of the most hilarious conversations happening between them…

Jacob: “This boy pirate is going to marry this boy pirate. But this other boy pirate is just going to have a bunch of wives!”

Amelia: “That’s a great idea! We can make them have a wedding and then they can adopt all the animals as their children!”

Charlotte: “They can’t adopt the horse because he’s going to have to be the orphan.”

Jacob: “My boy pirates can’t adopt anyone because if their peg legs come off they’ll just fall over and they won’t be able to take care of anyone! Except maybe the parrot because at least he can fly away when they start to fall over.”

Amelia: “How can they have peg legs and hooks for a hand?”

Jacob: “The hook is a bloody stump underneath but the wives like it.”

Charlotte: “Neigh says the horsey orphan!”

Clearly, this trip to the craft store paid for itself.

Filed Under: crafts, kids, stupid

Random Kid Questions and how I should have responded instead of staring blankly

April 6, 2012 by Neena 3 Comments

Charlotte: Mama, how big was Jacob’s penis when he was a baby?

Me: Well, I didn’t measure but I’m sure he’ll make someone very happy someday.

Jacob: Mama, do you remember what happened in Harry Potter Book 3, Chapter 8 on ### page?

Me: Honey, I can’t even remember if I put on underwear today. So I’m gonna go with no.

Amelia: (screaming as she got off the bus) Mama, a bug landed on me! Did it bite me? Did it? Did it?!

Me: Yes it did and now you’re going to have an allergic reaction and your arm will fall off and all your dreams of being a mime will be dead. So let’s have a snack so at least you have a full belly your dreams are crushed.

It’s a wonder I am allowed to have kids at all…

Filed Under: kids

How To Get Kids To Clean Their Rooms (or at least what I’m trying!)

April 4, 2012 by Neena 4 Comments

I used to want my house to look like the lovely pictures in the magazines on my coffee table – decorated nicely, clean, things always in their place.

Then I had 3 kids and started working on a PhD and my standards moved to just being happy when nothing was growing in the toilets.

At the beginning of the year I had someone coming to help clean every two weeks. It was glorious and allowed me the much-needed time to write my dissertation. Now that school is almost done (dissertation defense in two weeks – yea!) it’s time I get back to my own cleaning and organizing routine. And, frankly I’m totally looking forward to it.

In all honesty, though, I’ve always had a little trouble with the kids cleaning their rooms. This seems to be the area that continues to baffle me. Usually I just tell them “clean up your room!” and the whining and fighting begins. They get frustrated, I get angry, and the room…well, the room is never completely done.

I realized recently (hello, lightbulb! It took you long enough!) that I am asking the kids to live up to my standards of clean and organized which is a bit unrealistic because, well, they’re kids. I certainly want them to establish good habits, but giving them a blanket statement of “clean up your room” didn’t compute in their tiny little brains. On the few occasions when it did make sense they never reached the expectation of what I wanted for their rooms. And I thought…

Why the hell do I want their rooms to look like the Pottery Barn Kids catalog?! They’re kids! Let them enjoy their rooms!

But, in the interest of continuing of establishing good habits, I’ve decided to forego the “clean up your room” and break tasks into smaller, daily chunks. This puts the task at their level so they can accomplish it and still has them learning the lessons of cleaning up. And, while this new idea means their rooms will never be “done” to my unrealistic magazine standards, they will at least be doing a little everyday.

Here’s what I’ve come up with. The charts are printed and will be taped on their bedroom doors so they can look at it, get the task done, and move on:

Everyday they have one or two simple tasks to complete – each taking no more than 5 or 10 minutes. I know that the whole room will be picked up during the week and they won’t be overwhelmed with doing the whole thing everyday. I want them to enjoy their rooms and feel comfortable playing with their toys without the constant stressing of putting it all away. And who really cares of the room doesn’t look like a magazine photo. Life just isn’t that picturesque around here. I’m finally okay with that.

What do you do to help your kids clean their rooms?

Filed Under: kids, organization

What the hell kind of bug is this?!

January 30, 2012 by Neena 3 Comments

Everybody is sick. The kids are sick. The husband is sick. I’m doing my part to stay off that list.

Everybody has some weird strain of the stomach bug. It causes severe nausea for several days before it decides to come out of one or both ends. Pleasant, huh.

I got up the other morning to discover sheets in one kid’s room that needed to be cleaned, disinfected, and sterilized. I got up yesterday morning (at 5:00, mind you!) to the joys of vomit all over the bathroom and another kid’s room. I’m still working on cleaning the comforter from that one.

My kitchen counter is covered in bottles of pepto-bismol, saltine crackers, and ginger-ale. My fridge is full of jello and there are bowls and buckets scattered around the house. I keep wanting to douse myself in sanitizer and lock myself in a hotel room until this passes.

My husband is traveling every weekend for the next month or so and I’m pretty sure this freakish bug is going to hit me about the time he boards his plane on Thursday. And then whose going to hold my bucket and change my sheets, huh?!

Seriously, if this could be it until after I finish the dissertation I’d be eternally grateful.

Filed Under: husband, kids, sickness

Bad Parenting Monday

January 10, 2012 by Neena 5 Comments

Maybe it’s the fault of Monday.

Maybe the phases of the moon are wonky.

Maybe I’m just terrible at parenting.

Whichever one you pick doesn’t change the fact that today pretty much sucked balls. From the massive meltdown my son had just before karate started – to the fact that nobody at the dinner I cooked – all the way up to the numerous times I’ve already put one of the kids back in bed.

I hate days like today when I can’t seem to find the right trick or solution in my parenting toolbox to deal with or fix the situations. I pretty much just want to give up, admit defeat, raise the white flag, feed everyone fast food and not give two shits about bribing away a child’s tears. Deep down I know that’s not the solution. I know that’s the wrong way to handle things. It doesn’t teach any lessons and it doesn’t help nurture the correct behavior.

So I did the best I could in the moments of today. That’s all I could do.

At least until the kids went to bed and I could bribe away my own tears with a bowl of ice cream and an episode of Hoarders.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

Filed Under: kids, reflections

The Karate Kids

September 29, 2011 by Neena 3 Comments

Jacob started taking karate when he was just over 4 years old. We signed him up because we wanted something that would not only keep him active, but also help build his confidence. We tried tee-ball and had little luck with it. Even though there were no winners or losers I couldn’t handle the way the other parents would yell, scream, and become so freaking competitive over something that was supposed to be fun and full of learning.

I remember when we originally checked out the karate studio we now attend. I’ve never regretted for a minute having him join this studio with these incredible instructors. He’s grown into an excited, confident boy that is willing to challenge himself and work toward his goals.

We recently decided to sign both girls up to take karate, too. We have seen all the benefits with Jake and realized the girls should enjoy those same benefits. Plus, it never hurts to have your daughters prepared to kick some ass. Last week they started class and both of them instantly loved it! They jumped, kicked, yelled, listened, and couldn’t wait to go back for their next class.

And, tonight they each tested for their first belt. Though they were nervous, you can’t even imagine the glow on their faces when they finished their tests and earned that first accomplishment!

I am so proud of my girls!! And, I’m just as proud of my son who took the news of his sisters joining karate by proudly stating “Maybe they’ll be able to teach me something!”

I’d show you the videos of them testing for their white belts, but I ended up with 3 minutes of footage of the instructor’s rear end. Not a bad view by any means, but not really the point of the video. However, if you find yourself in need of a pick-me-up and would like to view 3 minutes of footage of a 24 year old’s tight rear end just let me know. I’m giving like that.