kids - hooey!critic

Random Kid Questions and how I should have responded instead of staring blankly

April 6, 2012 By Neena 3 Comments

Charlotte: Mama, how big was Jacob’s penis when he was a baby?

Me: Well, I didn’t measure but I’m sure he’ll make someone very happy someday.

Jacob: Mama, do you remember what happened in Harry Potter Book 3, Chapter 8 on ### page?

Me: Honey, I can’t even remember if I put on underwear today. So I’m gonna go with no.

Amelia: (screaming as she got off the bus) Mama, a bug landed on me! Did it bite me? Did it? Did it?!

Me: Yes it did and now you’re going to have an allergic reaction and your arm will fall off and all your dreams of being a mime will be dead. So let’s have a snack so at least you have a full belly your dreams are crushed.

It’s a wonder I am allowed to have kids at all…

Filed Under: kids

How To Get Kids To Clean Their Rooms (or at least what I’m trying!)

April 4, 2012 By Neena 4 Comments

I used to want my house to look like the lovely pictures in the magazines on my coffee table – decorated nicely, clean, things always in their place.

Then I had 3 kids and started working on a PhD and my standards moved to just being happy when nothing was growing in the toilets.

At the beginning of the year I had someone coming to help clean every two weeks. It was glorious and allowed me the much-needed time to write my dissertation. Now that school is almost done (dissertation defense in two weeks – yea!) it’s time I get back to my own cleaning and organizing routine. And, frankly I’m totally looking forward to it.

In all honesty, though, I’ve always had a little trouble with the kids cleaning their rooms. This seems to be the area that continues to baffle me. Usually I just tell them “clean up your room!” and the whining and fighting begins. They get frustrated, I get angry, and the room…well, the room is never completely done.

I realized recently (hello, lightbulb! It took you long enough!) that I am asking the kids to live up to my standards of clean and organized which is a bit unrealistic because, well, they’re kids. I certainly want them to establish good habits, but giving them a blanket statement of “clean up your room” didn’t compute in their tiny little brains. On the few occasions when it did make sense they never reached the expectation of what I wanted for their rooms. And I thought…

Why the hell do I want their rooms to look like the Pottery Barn Kids catalog?! They’re kids! Let them enjoy their rooms!

But, in the interest of continuing of establishing good habits, I’ve decided to forego the “clean up your room” and break tasks into smaller, daily chunks. This puts the task at their level so they can accomplish it and still has them learning the lessons of cleaning up. And, while this new idea means their rooms will never be “done” to my unrealistic magazine standards, they will at least be doing a little everyday.

Here’s what I’ve come up with. The charts are printed and will be taped on their bedroom doors so they can look at it, get the task done, and move on:

Everyday they have one or two simple tasks to complete – each taking no more than 5 or 10 minutes. I know that the whole room will be picked up during the week and they won’t be overwhelmed with doing the whole thing everyday. I want them to enjoy their rooms and feel comfortable playing with their toys without the constant stressing of putting it all away. And who really cares of the room doesn’t look like a magazine photo. Life just isn’t that picturesque around here. I’m finally okay with that.

What do you do to help your kids clean their rooms?

Filed Under: kids, organization

What the hell kind of bug is this?!

January 30, 2012 By Neena 3 Comments

Everybody is sick. The kids are sick. The husband is sick. I’m doing my part to stay off that list.

Everybody has some weird strain of the stomach bug. It causes severe nausea for several days before it decides to come out of one or both ends. Pleasant, huh.

I got up the other morning to discover sheets in one kid’s room that needed to be cleaned, disinfected, and sterilized. I got up yesterday morning (at 5:00, mind you!) to the joys of vomit all over the bathroom and another kid’s room. I’m still working on cleaning the comforter from that one.

My kitchen counter is covered in bottles of pepto-bismol, saltine crackers, and ginger-ale. My fridge is full of jello and there are bowls and buckets scattered around the house. I keep wanting to douse myself in sanitizer and lock myself in a hotel room until this passes.

My husband is traveling every weekend for the next month or so and I’m pretty sure this freakish bug is going to hit me about the time he boards his plane on Thursday. And then whose going to hold my bucket and change my sheets, huh?!

Seriously, if this could be it until after I finish the dissertation I’d be eternally grateful.

Filed Under: husband, kids, sickness

Bad Parenting Monday

January 10, 2012 By Neena 5 Comments

Maybe it’s the fault of Monday.

Maybe the phases of the moon are wonky.

Maybe I’m just terrible at parenting.

Whichever one you pick doesn’t change the fact that today pretty much sucked balls. From the massive meltdown my son had just before karate started – to the fact that nobody at the dinner I cooked – all the way up to the numerous times I’ve already put one of the kids back in bed.

I hate days like today when I can’t seem to find the right trick or solution in my parenting toolbox to deal with or fix the situations. I pretty much just want to give up, admit defeat, raise the white flag, feed everyone fast food and not give two shits about bribing away a child’s tears. Deep down I know that’s not the solution. I know that’s the wrong way to handle things. It doesn’t teach any lessons and it doesn’t help nurture the correct behavior.

So I did the best I could in the moments of today. That’s all I could do.

At least until the kids went to bed and I could bribe away my own tears with a bowl of ice cream and an episode of Hoarders.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

Filed Under: kids, reflections

The Karate Kids

September 29, 2011 By Neena 3 Comments

Jacob started taking karate when he was just over 4 years old. We signed him up because we wanted something that would not only keep him active, but also help build his confidence. We tried tee-ball and had little luck with it. Even though there were no winners or losers I couldn’t handle the way the other parents would yell, scream, and become so freaking competitive over something that was supposed to be fun and full of learning.

I remember when we originally checked out the karate studio we now attend. I’ve never regretted for a minute having him join this studio with these incredible instructors. He’s grown into an excited, confident boy that is willing to challenge himself and work toward his goals.

We recently decided to sign both girls up to take karate, too. We have seen all the benefits with Jake and realized the girls should enjoy those same benefits. Plus, it never hurts to have your daughters prepared to kick some ass. Last week they started class and both of them instantly loved it! They jumped, kicked, yelled, listened, and couldn’t wait to go back for their next class.

And, tonight they each tested for their first belt. Though they were nervous, you can’t even imagine the glow on their faces when they finished their tests and earned that first accomplishment!

I am so proud of my girls!! And, I’m just as proud of my son who took the news of his sisters joining karate by proudly stating “Maybe they’ll be able to teach me something!”

I’d show you the videos of them testing for their white belts, but I ended up with 3 minutes of footage of the instructor’s rear end. Not a bad view by any means, but not really the point of the video. However, if you find yourself in need of a pick-me-up and would like to view 3 minutes of footage of a 24 year old’s tight rear end just let me know. I’m giving like that.

Filed Under: karate, kids

Saw this on my daughter’s door today

August 16, 2011 By Neena 3 Comments

A little passive aggressive, but I give her props for attempting privacy.

Perhaps I should try something like this when I’m trying to go to the bathroom or shave my legs.

Do not Dustrbe! Mommy’s peeing!

Filed Under: kids, picture

Breakfast Time with FiberPlus

June 20, 2011 By Neena 4 Comments

John Gunther once said, “All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.” I’ve always wished that I could take this advice to heart, but I’m not a breakfast person. Despite hearing all my life that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I often find that I’m too busy or distracted to sit and eat first thing in the morning.

Mornings usually consist of a chaotic dance of trying to get my husband out the door without forgetting anything while trying to coerce three kids to get dressed, fed, and ready for the day’s activities. If I’m lucky I might have time for a cup of coffee before attempting to throw myself together into some semblance of order before we head out the door. Mornings are the opposite of leisurely around here.

Even on the weekends when we have a bit more time to enjoy breakfast I’m usually the one cooking but taking a pass on sitting down to eat. I don’t find that I have an appetite when I first wake up so I tend to skip it. This decision usually comes back with a vengeance since I’m starving by lunch and fighting off the afternoon slumps shortly after that.

With the summer filling quickly with activities and camps, I knew I needed to try to change this habit. I want to learn to start my day off a little better to avoid feeling dragged down later in the day and be more energetic for my children. This begins not only with breakfast, but also with a breakfast filled with fiber.

Fiber has a variety of benefits , but for me it’s about the fullness it gives. It enables me to feel full so that I’m not grabbing for just anything by lunch and, in turn, grabbing for the wrong foods. It gives me the boost I need to get through my busy days. And, what can be easier to grab in the morning to get that boost I need than a bowl of cereal?!

I recently received two boxes of Kellogg’s FiberPlus cereal to try in my attempts to make breakfast a staple part of my diet, Kellogg’s FiberPlus Yogurt Berry Crunch and Kellogg’s FiberPlus Cinnamon Oat Crunch

Both cereals are packed with fiber and whole grains. Now, normally this would be a bit of a turn off for me since past experience with fiber and whole grains equated to eating dry cardboard. But, I was pleasantly surprised with how great the cereals tasted!

The FiberPlus Cinnamon Oat Crunch was by far my favorite. It wasn’t overly sweet and it has a great crunch without being dry or grainy! It actually had a similar taste to a warm bowl of oatmeal. A quick bowl of that took less than five minutes of my morning and I felt quite full until lunch! And, a ¾ cup serving of cereal with ½ cup skim milk only has 150 calories plus 9 grams of fiber. Not bad for a non-breakfast gal! Plus, the sweetness was just enough for me that I packed a small bag of it for an afternoon pick-me-up while driving my kids to their scheduled activities.

The FiberPlus Yogurt Berry Crunch was a bit too sweet for my tastes, but my kids absolutely loved it! One of their favorite breakfast choices is yogurt and granola. With this cereal they are getting the yogurt and granola tastes that they love with the added benefits of 10 grams of fiber. That’s 40% of the daily recommendation of fiber! I’m always excited when I can find a breakfast cereal they love that is not covered in high fructose corn syrup and cartoon characters. This cereal totally fits the bill! And, as an added bonus, this cereal has been working wonders to help my oldest daughter stay regular – something she has struggled with for years.

I don’t foresee my days becoming less jam-packed with activities and errands and I may not always have the opportunity to treat breakfast as a time of leisure. But, I do believe that changing my breakfast habits will only work to benefit my energy levels and my ability to keep up with 3 kids.

Now, if only Kellogg’s could help with carpool…

Disclosure: This is a paid post sponsored by Kellogg’s. I received one box of Berry Yogurt
Crunch and one box of Cinnamon Oat Crunch to facilitate the review. The opinions presented are wholly mine

Filed Under: breakfast, busyreview, fiber, FiberPlus, kids

A lesson in independence from a robot

March 6, 2011 By Neena 10 Comments

I am one of those parents that is a firm believer in teaching my children independence. While I want them to grow up feeling that their home is a safe place to learn, try, and possibly fall, I do believe that sending them into the world with the ability to guide and take care of themselves is one of the most valuable things I can give them.

I especially value independence when it comes to their school work. While the control freak in me wants to hover while they practice handwriting or complete art projects, I know that the pride they feel completing their math or sentences entirely on their own is key to building their confidence. Is their work perfect? No. They’re kids, for pete’s sake! Am I sure they tried their best? Yes. Do I believe that working through it on their own will allow certain skills to improve with time? Absolutely. While I might guide them to discover their own mistakes, I rarely point out what needs to be fixed. When they turn in their work or projects at school, they know (and I know) it is 100% authentic of their skills, abilities, and efforts.

This past week, though, I learned that this isn’t always the case with their classmates. My 6 year old, Amelia, had a week-long lesson on robots. Each first grade class was doing an entire week around the robot theme and it all ended on Friday with a presentation of each child’s homemade robot. I asked Amelia to practice drawing what she wanted her robot to look like before she began building it. When she showed me her final sketch I went to the craft store and picked up some Styrofoam blocks and a few other supplies she might like to use to bring her robot to life. One evening last week I put all the supplies on the table and she began to build her robot. With the exception of cutting the metal coil that attached to the base, she made the entire thing all by herself.

She was so proud when it was all done! She wrote her report, practiced presenting, and couldn’t wait to take it to school.

When she got home on Friday she was unbelievably disappointed. When I asked her how her presentation went she became upset and said it was terrible. After she calmed down and was able to explain a bit more, I learned that her classmates didn’t like her robot. So many of them came with 4 and 5 foot tall robots – some of which even moved! She told me that all her friends had their parents build the robots and she was one of the only kids in her class that built the robot herself.

My heart hurt for her. I know how much effort she put into building her robot and I know it reflected a great amount of effort on her part. But, how can a robot built by a 6 year old compare to robots built by parents?! I just don’t get it. The assignment was for the kids to build their own robots, not for the parents to build robots for them. What lessons are parents teaching their kids if the just do the work for them? Is something like this going to start a trend where in 10 years the parents will be completing the science projects and writing the English essays? I believe in helping and guiding our children, but I do not believe in doing things for them. That’s not the kind of parent I want to be!

I told her later that evening that I was so proud of her effort and she admitted that, even though the other kids didn’t like her robot, she thought it was pretty cool (and she loves that the antennas look like they are blowing in the wind!) We took her robot and put it in her room to display.

While she may forget, I want to remember her first school project – something she created all on her own. I want to remember the chance she took took in creating it independently and I want to take to heart the lesson it taught both of us.

And I want to say to all you parents that do your child’s project, homework, and art crafts for them – you suck. Seriously.

Filed Under: amelia, kids, school

The Night Before: A riddle

January 28, 2011 By Neena 2 Comments

What do you get when you tell your mom at bedtime on a Thursday night that you need to dress as a detective for school tomorrow?

A black turtleneck, jeans, and a magnifying glass made of a canning ring, black electrical tape, and a plastic butter knife.

Suck it, Kindergarten Detective Day!

Love,
My Ghetto Ingenuity

Filed Under: crafts, kids

sight

January 18, 2011 By Neena 4 Comments

Someone once said to me that once a person learns to read they will never be able to not read words again.

I always found this idea so intriguing. We see everyday – people, places, things. Yet, there are very few times when we remember seeing something for the first time. Sure, as we age and become adults we might remember the first time we saw our child on an ultrasound or the majesty of the grand canyon.

But, with children so much of what they see is a first and they never even comprehend it – the first time they see a color, the first butterfly on a Spring afternoon, the first words in a book.

It’s as if the mystery itself is completely expected. Appreciated. Maybe even desired.

Of course they want to know things and they’re the first to overwhelm everyone with their curiosity. But, they rarely worry about that which they don’t know and often accept that the unknown just is.

My oldest child has had glasses since she was two. She survived an eye surgery to tighten her muscles and many months of wearing an eye patch all before she was three. Even before she could ever read the words of a book we were doing our part to be sure that, when the time came, she would always be able to see.

Now she reads and absorbs books at a speed that could probably knock most other 6 year olds out of the water.

My 5 year old son, an emerging reader, recently got his first pair of glasses designed to help him see close up and make the words on the page just a little clearer. Ask him to read a simple book on his level and he’ll refuse – but present him with anything non-fiction about dinosaurs, the ocean, or outer space and he’ll sound out every single word until he knows exactly what it says.

It won’t be long until none of the words in their books will be mysterious. They’ll know every one of them. Their sight will have expanded to include an entire world of stories, ideas, and adventures that come from learning that the letters on those pages mean something. They may not ask me to read to them as often, but the insight they’ll gain from learning to really see those words is a first that I will always remember.

And, this picture has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. I just couldn’t leave out Charlotte and her morning Farrah Fawcett hair.