You are here: Home / Archives for friends

On friendship

March 28, 2012 By 2 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship: the friends I’ve had in the past that have drifted away, the old friends that have never faltered, the friendships I’ve made through blogging.

For those folks who don’t know –  my entire dissertation is based on the communities that mommy bloggers build.  Not only is it one of the first dissertations to focus solely on mommy bloggers, but it is one of the first to look closely at exactly how they build the wonderful communities that become so much a part of their daily lives.  Sure, my dissertation is full of SAT style words and all kinds of academic mumbo-jumbo, but when I really break it down it is all about friendship.

Friendship.

The women who participated in my study couldn’t express enough about how much the friendships they form online have meant to them – how many of those friendships crossed the boundaries of geography and Internet connections to become some of the most powerful relationships they have with other women.  This is incredible to me – not only because I got to look at it so closely from an academic perspective, but because I’ve experienced those same relationships since I started blogging in 2007.

And sometimes it feels like blogging is the only place where I actually have friends.

See, what is so incredible about those friendships that exist daily within the confines of the screen is that there is ALWAYS someone right there to hear your words, celebrate your accomplishments, provide encouragement, induce laughter, and offer validation to what you feel in your brightest (and darkest) moments.  These friendships have this incredible ability to, in a sense, to escape time.   And, in some ways, this happens more so online than anything I have experienced in real life.  There is no waiting for the girls night out, no coordinating schedules to find time to talk, no feelings that someone cannot be there when you need them. .  I’m not saying it’s always rainbows and sunshine, but I see jealously dismissed, cattiness put aside for celebration, and support staked in the ground that could withstand a tornado.

They are always right there – at the push of a button – at the touch of my fingertips.

Those of us that have experienced the intensity of friendships from the blogging community know how difficult it would be to part with any aspect of it.  These women we’ve met have become our sisters, our go-to’s, our arm links to empowerment.  So I just want to say thank you.  On days like today when I question if I am wanted and loved for who I am or just for what I give, I know each of you are there.  You have been every moment since I started that first blog in 2007 with two toddlers at my side and a baby girl aching to come out of my belly.  Your friendship is life changing…

Thank you for that.  Just…thank you.

Filed Under: blogging, friends, reflection

Burning Bridges

July 28, 2010 By 5 Comments

I think I may have unintentionally destroyed a friendship.

This past school year I was a co-leader of a very small scouting troop through my daughter’s school.  We were operating with very few girls and no money.  After discussing the situation with my husband we’ve decided to transfer our daughter to another troop that operates within the county and has many of her school friends as members.  I think the overall experience is going to be better for our daughter and give her many more opportunities.

Today I had to tell my co-leader I was moving troops.

And, she’s very upset.

She thinks I’ve bailed on her and all the hard work she’s put into building our troop.  While I understand her reasoning I’m really trying to give my daughter the most well-rounded scouting experience possible.  I emailed her and expressed how much I don’t want this to destroy our friendship.  Our daughters play together and we often bump into one another through school functions and what not.

I feel terrible.  I’m trying to give her time to cool down before I call her to talk, but I’m really afraid I unintentionally destroyed our friendship.  The interesting thing is that she could very easily transfer with me, still be a leader, and have many, many resources at her fingertips.  I want us to just combine troops so that we can all still work together, but have a more optimal experience.

I’m a Libra.  I don’t like the waters to be muddied.  I’m much more of a Can’t we all just get along type of girl.

And, I just want to do what’s best for my daughter.

I hate that I may lose a friendship in the process.

Filed Under: friends

I’m definitely NOT 22 anymore!

December 13, 2009 By 2 Comments

Last night Hubby and I had some old friends over.  We made chili, let the kids run wild, and laughed our way through the evening.

Oh, and we drank.

We drank lots.

These friends of ours, well, they must be fish.

This morning was…bad.

I began the ritual of many aspirin and hours of hydration.  I’m just now beginning to feel less like something you’d find on the bottom of your shoe after a night in a seedy bar.

Glamorous, I know.

But, even with the horrible hangover, I had a great time!  And, even though I’m not 22 anymore, I’m glad I can still cut lose from time to time!

Thanks, guys!  I needed that!
Filed Under: friends, holidays, party

A New Old Friend

June 17, 2009 By 2 Comments

Yesterday I got together with my old friend Jennifer. She was kind enough to ask the kids and I to come swimming with her and her babies. We gladly accepted the invitation and ended up having a fabulous time! We spent the morning laughing, chasing babies, applying and reapplying sunscreen and encouraging the kids to share pool toys. The kids, who have only played together once before, got along splendidly. They laughed, bonded, talked, and smuggled rice cake crumbs, bananas, and peaches from our bags. A pretty perfect day in my book.

Jennifer and I met in college and quite possibly had opposing beliefs on everything, but still managed to form a friendship. She and I ended up teaching at the same school right out of college in matching ghetto trailers in the back of the building. We lived within 10 minutes of one another, married our wonderful boys within days of each other, and often spent time together as ‘newlywed friends.’ We brought her and her husband food when they were stuck painting their new house all weekend and they made us a wonderful chicken meal the day we moved in to our new house. We even attended church together for a while as we all explored exactly where we fit.
Jennifer and I lost touch after teaching together for a couple years. She and her husband decided to take on a new adventure that involved moving to join the Air Force and Hubby and I were diving deep into the world of parenting. We went almost 5 years without hearing from one another, but I always wondered what happened to my friend. Luckily, through the magic that is Facebook, we were able to find each other. As it turns out, she and her husband live minutes from my in-laws, have 3 babies just like us, and she stays home with the kids too!
It’s like a kismet friendship.
If that wasn’t enough, she’s also a writer, new to the world of blogging moms. She just started her new blog when her 3rd baby was born six weeks ago.** And, boy is she talented! She has an amazing insight into parenting and a beautiful way of expressing the emotions of it all. I wanted to encourage those of you that read my blog to head over and give her some of that wonderful mommy blog love. Her stories are inspiring and I think she has some important things to say. So, go say hi, send her a cyber hug, and help show her exactly what I mean when I talk to her about the power of the blogging community.
**and for someone that just had a baby 6 weeks ago she sure looked killer in a bathing suit. I only hated her for about 2 seconds before it all turned to envy!
Filed Under: friends