daily grind - hooey!critic

Why I want to simplify…everything

April 23, 2012 by Neena 4 Comments

Sometimes I look back over the last three years of school and wonder how I managed to balance it all. People ask me constantly how I managed to do it and, frankly, I have no idea. I don’t know how I managed to be everywhere and do everything for so long. Perhaps all the “busy” is why my body is exhausted and I feel like I could crash and sleep for about a week.

I’ve mentioned a few times that when school is done and Summer arrives I want to simplify our lives. My life. The kids’ lives. We are a family stretched thin – too busy, too pulled, too everywhere. It’s getting to be too much. Actually, it got to be too much a while ago, but I kept pushing through because that’s what mothers do. Right?!

But, I can’t anymore. I can’t keep running on fumes – it isn’t good for any of us.

So I thought I’d share with you what a typical schedule looks like for a week of our lives. This is our actual schedule for this week. Looking at it makes me exhausted. I start dreading the weeks before they even get here because, as you’ll see, there is no downtime.

Monday: Coffee date with friend (AM), Preschool conference (11 AM), Karate (5-7:15),

Tuesday: Orthodontist (3:40), Piano (6:00)

Wednesday: Preschool, Ballet (6:30)

Thursday: Husband Traveling, Dentist appointment for all 3 kids (8:00 AM), Boy Scout Pack Meeting (6:30), Karate (4:30-7:15)

Friday: Husband Traveling, Preschool, Karate (4-5:45), Girl Scout meeting (6:30), Father-in-law’s Birthday, Department End of the Year Party (6:00 and an hour away).

Saturday: Husband Traveling, Girl Scout Field Trip (2-4)

Sunday: Husband Traveling, Church, grocery shopping

In the midst of all this chaos I have to turn in my final dissertation to the university, peer review an article for a journal, clean the house, run errands, finish the laundry, purchase and plant my vegetable garden, make a vet appointment for the cats, and find time to squeeze in dinner that isn’t fast food! I’m trying to be too many places at once. My whole day before 3:00 is spent trying to get as much done as possible because everything after 3:00 is spent running from activity to activity.

We already decided that the kids are going to cut out a few activities this Summer. Most of the activities (with the exception of karate) stop in the summer so it is a good time to transition. I keep telling myself it is only another month of chaos. One more month…

I certainly hope so because something has gotta give…

Filed Under: daily grind

Preparation Sunday

March 25, 2012 by Neena 1 Comment

One of the many things I love about Sundays is my ability to prep for the upcoming week. I didn’t use to do this, but I’ve learned over the last year or so that a little prep on Sunday makes for a much less stressful week. I tend to break my preparation into categories. I do this mainly so I can tackle any necessary preparation at the right time. For example, it is nearly impossible to prep for the week ahead during the witching hours of baths, dinner, and bedtime. So I leave that time open for complete focus on the kids and family.

Here’s how I break it down:

Sunday Mornings

Coffee and blog reading – I love to use the quiet time in the morning to catch up on blogs from the week that I didn’t have time to read earlier. It’s relaxing and allows me to breathe before any chaos of the day comes running down the steps.
Menu Planning and Grocery List – I wish I could tell you that I’m a coupon shopper or that I look for sales before making my menu and list, but the truth is I base our meals of what is on the calendar for the week. If I know we have numerous activities on any given night I’ll make that a crock pot meal so it’s ready when we have a window to eat.

Social Media

Plan blog posts for the week – I always have an idea or two sloshing around in my head so I’ll take time to make a few notes or put things in my draft folder to finish later in the week.
Return emails – I try to respond to blog comments, my online groups, or review offers as best I can. Doing this on Sunday leaves me open for whatever comes in during the upcoming week.

Project Preparation

I’ve learned through years of marriage that the husband and I work best together if we plan ahead. I’m big on tackling projects on the weekends while he’s big on thinking through and planning what needs to be done before hand. We always take time to think about what we want to do for the NEXT weekend. We make lists of supplies or things that might be needed in order to begin and that gives us a whole week to pull it together. This way I’m not waking up on a Saturday morning saying “hey, let’s paint today!” and waiting half a day prepping to do it. For example – next weekend we are starting our vegetable gardens for the Spring. By prepping now we have all week to purchase dirt, plants, and the necessary supplies to put a small “fence” around the beds to prevent the dog from terrorizing my crops.

Kid Preparation

Pack lunches for Mondays and prep lunch supplies for the week. I try to have all lunch supplies packaged individually before the week starts (ex: grapes, crackers, etc.) Then I just have to pull them out and throw them in lunch boxes during the week. It saves a ton of time on a busy weeknight.
Hygiene – I promise I bathe my kids during the week, but Sunday is the big bath and hygiene night. The kids are scrubbed squeaky clean, nails are clipped, ears are cleaned out, brushing and flossing are monitored, and hair is dried. This lets me know that they are at least starting the week off fresh and clean.
Clothing – all Monday outfits, shoes, socks, accessories, etc., are set out on Sunday night. No exceptions.
Backpacks are checks, folders are signed, reading logs are updated from the weekend, and everything for Monday is already inside. This means no show-and-tell or ice cream day surprises. Plus, everything that needs to be signed is kept on our high counter so I am reminded it needs to be taken care of and sent with the correct kid.

Busy Mama Preparation (usually after the kids go to bed)

look over and update the calendar with anything that is happening during the upcoming week. I keep a paper calendar but I always add kid and family events to my google calendar so my husband can sync to it and know what is going on. This week alone we have karate x’s 3 days, piano, ballet, , preschool Easter party, boy scout pack meeting, karate graduation, volunteering at the preschool, karate fitness run, and hand delivering my dissertation to my committee. See why I gotta write it down?!
Fill er up! I try to run out on sunday nights (or I send the hubby) to fill the car up with gas so there is no chance I’ll run late during the week or run low in the middle of crunch time getting from one activity to another.
Make lists – Sunday nights I’ll make a monday to-do list or list of errands for the week so that I can work those in while the kids are at school.

I know this seems like an awful lot of stuff to do on a Sunday (and I didn’t even include the grocery shopping, the laundry, or church!), but I promise you that prepping ahead for the week is one of the few things that keeps my head above water. Well, that and Lexapro.

So what do you do to prep for the week?

Filed Under: a list...sorta, activities, busy days, daily grind, organization, Uncategorized

Lazy Sunday My Tooshie!

December 12, 2011 by Neena 2 Comments

I was at the grocery store by 7:37 this morning to do the weekly shopping. Yes, I looked at the clock because I wanted to document the exact time I realized I was crazy.

I was home and had the groceries put away by 9:00 am. Then we dressed and rushed to church where I sat for an hour and wondered if I’d be able to get through to our garbage company on Monday morning to cancel our service in favor of another ~~cheaper~~ company. Every time I call them nobody answers. I’m pretty sure they’re associated with the mafia and they’re too busy buying bodies in the dump on the other side of the county to allow me to cancel service. Or, perhaps they’re hiding the bodies of those folks that got through on the phone and this is the universe telling me to just pay the damn bill for the chance to live.

The afternoon was filled with finishing the holiday shopping, catching a woman hitting our car in the mall parking lot, and realizing the the world is full of douche bags that don’t know how to give a courtesy wave. But, the shopping is done. Other than a few small goodies for stockings that I can pick up anywhere, I won’t have to grace the mall area until after the holiday season. That’s a freaking miracle.

Once home I spent a couple hours doing all kinds of crafty shit for the preschool party that I’m in charge of later in the week. I’m not very crafty so I forced my in-laws to help by sitting at my kitchen table and punching out foam stickers and cutting out circles with play dough scissors. It was like my own little holiday sweat shop complete with my daughter singing The Holly and The Ivy off key in the background.

Somewhere in there I ate a sandwich and slipped my father-in-law some leftover birthday cake. We were so smooth in our transaction that we could so be drug dealers. The kids were completely unaware and the grown-ups can continue living with the shame and knowledge of eating all the leftover birthday cake when the little ones are asleep.

Now I’m wearing mismatched pajamas and watching Cupcake Wars with a cup of coffee. I’ll be helping my husband get ready for his morning trip to Philadelphia here soon and then I’ll be crashing in the bed. What will the upcoming week bring!? Oh, just your typical karate, ballet, piano, preschool, holiday school parties x’s 3, pajama days, boy scout pack meetings, girl scout meetings, some data analysis, and a partridge in a pear tree week.

FaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa.

Filed Under: busy days, daily grind, holidays

Is excess a burden?

September 18, 2011 by Neena 16 Comments

I’ve been seeing quite a bit of buzz lately about tiny houses. Have you seen these? They seem to be a new phenomenon for people wanting to escape the confines of a mortgage and live a simpler life. The houses range from about 100 square feet to as big as 800 square feet. This is a typical tiny house…

image courtesy of google

Can you imagine living in a space this small?! At first I couldn’t even ponder the idea. But, the more I got to thinking about it the more I realized there might be something to this simpler life. Think about it – you’d have no mortgage since most of these cost roughly $20,000 to have custom built. You’d be forced to decided exactly what stuff you could and could not live without. You’d have to learn to organize and make use of every nook and cranny possible to function within the space. You’d be escaping the materialism that seems to hold all of us to our homes, our clothes, our belongings, our stuff – our too much stuff.

I started thinking about how cool it would be for Hubby and I to build one of these, get rid of our mortgage and the high paying job that keeps him on call 24/7, and just live. We would have more time to spend with the kids, minimal money worries, and we’d have to learn how to interact and appreciate the joys around us that are usually blinded by copious amounts of stuff. Now, because we have 3 kids it would be nearly impossible to live in one that was only 100 square feet. But, I did find this one that I think would be perfect…

Tumbleweed Tiny House

This one is 777 square feet – 874 if you add on the third bedroom. This is the bottom floor…

Here is the top floor…

It actually looks like quite a bit of space! I’d love to finally get rid of all the “stuff” we keep in storage and only take what we generally need and use. I can’t even count how often we discuss how we need more space. Maybe we don’t need more space. Maybe we need less. Maybe we need to finally learn to simply live without. Now, I’m not talking about electricity or stoves or anything like that. These houses come equipped with all your appliances and whatnot. I’m talking about learning to live without 500 DVD’s, 47 different types of baking pans, wine glasses that we never use.

Could we actually do it? I really don’t know, but I think it would be amazing to try. And, I think that we will start to see more of these tiny houses pop up as the world recognizes that it is entirely possible to exist without a mortgage and a house full of “stuff” we never use.

Now, when I proposed the idea to hubby I’m pretty sure I saw him flinch. Like, physically tense up. And, the thought of parting with most of my books makes me want to vomit. But who knows. Maybe when I finish this PhD we’ll get the urge to do something crazy like this. And maybe I’ll write a book about our adventures and newfound leisure in the process.

Tell me – could you live in a tiny house?

Filed Under: daily grind

A day to myself

July 15, 2011 by Neena 2 Comments

Last night my lovely in-laws returned from their glorious 2 month vacation to Alaska. I was seriously counting down the minutes until they arrived home mostly because I missed them, but also because I wanted to squeeze them super tight and beg them never to leave me for 2 months ever again without babysitters unless they want me to become a raging alcoholic that pees her pants in the corner from the sheer inability to sneak away and use the toilet without an audience.

Instead I just fed them homemade cake.

On their way back home they stopped and picked up my beautiful niece so she could spend a few days with them and visit with her cousins (and I imagine also because her mother was probably as close as I was to becoming a raging alcoholic peeing in the corner! Solidarity, Anna!)

Anyway.

My mother-in-law has invited my two girls to go spend the day with her tomorrow. She invited Jacob, too, but he has his last day of karate camp and his rock climbing field trip – which might be the reason why I’m crapping myself in the corner, too. She wants the girls to come down in the morning so she can spend the entire day doing girlie things with 3 of her granddaughters. I told her I’d bring them down in the morning and that I’d be running errands most of the day, but I’d be reachable on cell phone.

Oh, you’re not going to just relax and take a day for yourself?

I politely answered that I just had too many things to get done to take a relax day.

But, what I really wanted to say was “Hell to the no I’m not taking a day to myself. I gots things to do and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to enjoy not having to lug 3 kids in and out of the car in the blazing heat just to buy paint and pick up a new cable remote. Besides if I go by myself I can go to Starbucks without buying cake pops and I can drink my whole coffee before it gets cold and fart in the car without judgement and laughter. I can listen to something other than that damn vacation bible school CD and pretend nobody can see me singing to KC and the Sunshine Band. Day to relax?! Did all that Alaska air make you crazy! Cause I’m ready to bust outta this joint!”

I’m glad I chose to give her the polite answer as opposed to my honest one. I mean, really, I just got the woman back. I’d hate to lose her again before I’ve had the chance quit peeing in the corner.

Filed Under: daily grind

anything of substance? well, look elsewhere.

May 27, 2011 by Neena Leave a Comment

I’ve had a headache all day. Apparently, the universe has a personal vendetta against me since the end of vacation.

As do the pets. The little shits are so pissed we went out of town that they are doing everything in their power to let me know.

Needless to say I’m shopping for hardwood to beat them at their own game.

The kids and I survived our first day back from vacation and hubby’s first day back at work with minimal scaring. ’Minimal’ meaning it’ll only take a few years of therapy and the constant chewing of Xanax to work through.

I made soup tonight. The kids all asked to go hungry. Brats.

Charlotte pulled on my shirt at karate tonight and I’m pretty sure she flashed my nipples to a bunch of 5 year olds and at least one of the karate instructors. Maybe that’s why they offered a discount if we sign up the other two kids for classes.

There is ice cream in the freezer calling to me. It may not help my headache or my smaller size short to actually fit tomorrow, but at this point I’m taking my chances.

Good bye.

Filed Under: daily grind

Home!

May 25, 2011 by Neena 5 Comments

We are home from the beach – all of us rested, sunburned, and eaten by South Georgia bugs.

But, we are home.

I love returning home from a trip to the wonders of my own shower, my own pillows, my own comfort zone of chaos. The kids are already complaining of boredom so I’m pretty sure the world did not spin off its axis while we were gone.

We enjoyed days of frolicking on the beach and playing like goofballs at the waterpark. We bought our holiday ornaments for this year, ate delicious food, and even watched 4 sea turtles get released back into the ocean. It was just what we all needed.

Now I must return to laundry, grocery shopping, karate, and preparing for the kids’ summer camps.

It’s nice to be home though.

Filed Under: daily grind

While the rest of the world watches the Oscars

February 28, 2011 by Neena 2 Comments

I had originally planned to watch the Oscars tonight. I’m not usually an awards show kind of gal, but I thought it would be a nice way to end my school work free weekend. Then I realized I haven’t really seen any of the movies nominated except Black Swan (and we all know how I felt about that one!) So, I decided it would be better to just read the fashion commentary tomorrow. Instead, here’s what I’ll be doing while the rest of the world watching the Oscars…

I’ll be thinking about the wonderful clean garage that Hubby and I spent all morning working on.
I’ll be spending time looking on the Sephora website so when I go tomorrow to buy more foundation I’m be prepared for any good sales or products.
I’ll be folding 47 loads of laundry so Hubby can relax and play Red Dead Redemption
I’ll probably use my Nair-type product to remove my lady mustache that is compliments of my Italian genetics.
I’ll be counting down until the kids go to bed. 30 more minutes…20 more minutes…10 more minutes… (because we had the brilliant idea today to let them skip nap/quiet time in favor of playing outside. The kid crashing started around 5:00. I’m a moron.)
I’ll be thinking about how I can sneak the last strawberry shortcake in the fridge without alerting the children to my evil, selfish sweet-tooth.
I’ll be thinking about classes this week, the homework I haven’t done because I avoided it this weekend in favor of my family, the PTO program Amelia has Thursday night, the conference I’m presenting at on Friday, and the robot my daughter has to build for school by Friday.

It’s no Anne Hathaway hosted show with rocking fashions, but I promise I’ll wear my nice yoga pants while I do it all.

Filed Under: a list...sorta, daily grind, sunday

I Twitter-Jinxed myself!

September 23, 2010 by Neena 5 Comments

I woke up this morning completely excited to spend my day at home. I had grandiose plans to get ahead on my class readings, do some recipe searches, and actually fold the 47 loads of laundry sitting on my bed. I got up before 6:30, drank some coffee, and sent hubby out the door with the two older kids for school. Then he headed to the hospital to sit with his mom while his dad had surgery. Then I tweeted how awesome my day was going to be……and completely managed to f*$k up my day!

I got a call from the school to pick up my son who was suffering with a high fever and complaining of a sore throat. I called the pediatrician on my way to pick him up and managed to get an appointment at just the right time for nobody to be home to get my oldest off the bus. So, I had to check her out early, too.

By 10:30 I had all three kids with me and was headed to the grocery store for ginger ale, Tylenol, and Popsicles.

By the way – what’s going on with all this Motrin recall business!? Isn’t it over yet!?

I digress.

We came home for a couple hours before heading to the doctor. It was then that I noticed that I was the only parent on the sign-in sheet that actually showed up before the scheduled appointment time. Apparently a 1:45 appointment to some means you can waltz in at 1:52. (Hey Late people, learn to be on time cause you’re pissing me off!)*

After a long wait we left with a strep throat diagnosis and a prescription. Off to the pharmacy we went.

It’s now almost 5:00, the laundry still isn’t folded, and not a recipe has been located. I must move on to dinner, baths, and school prep for tomorrow. My husband is still at the hospital waiting for word on his dad and I already lost the cap to the amoxicillin bottle.

Had I not tweeted my productive intentions I would have had a lovely, quiet day.

But I’ll be damned if I didn’t jinx myself.

This should also be a lesson in the importance of showering. Thanks to my plans to be home all day I ended up at the school, the grocery store, the pediatrician, and the pharmacy with 2 days of unwashed grease hair and legs that need to be shaved. I vow to shower tomorrow.

*Expect a post soon where I get on my soapbox to vent about lateness – it might just be my biggest peeve!

Filed Under: daily grind, sickness

Sometimes a breakdown is a breakthrough

September 10, 2010 by Neena 7 Comments

Last week I had my first real PhD breakdown. It all started with that horrible book I had to read. Add that to the stress, exhaustion, and the general ups and downs of motherhood and it bubbled up and came out my eyeballs.

I actually started crying at school.

See, I’m not a cry-er. And, on the few occasions I have cried it hasn’t been pretty. There’s snot flying, mascara smearing, blubbering, and a general consensus that the world would be better (and full of less nightmares) if they had never been exposed to the hot mess that is me.

But, last week I let the world see. I was genuine about it. I admitted my struggles, released my stress, and came out on the other side feeling…better! Sure, things were still hard and I still had to work my way through the agonizing essay that had to accompany the book, but I felt renewed. Simply letting it all go (out my eyeballs, mind you) actually made my perspective change. I tend not to get religious on this blog, but I spent time praying for clarity and understanding. I figured if I cried that much the Lord was certainly trying to tell me something. And I felt like I could finally hear.

A couple days later I was offered an assistantship with my department – an assistantship that will allow me to be on campus more and more connected to my cohort – an assistantship that will help alleviate some upcoming financial issues – an assistantship that will let my OCD organizational skills run wild! So much seemed to fall into place within moments really. Yes, this will be adding to my stress, adding more hours to my schedule, and requiring more work on my part – but it feels right. The timing, the job, the everything – it just feels right.

And, I have to believe that the ‘rightness’ is what makes this whole thing more of a breakthrough than a breakdown.

Sometime all we need is a good cry.

*I also have to send a special hug to my friend and kindred spirit – B – who took the time to send so many encouraging words last week. He’s truly one of the world’s last nice guys. Thanks, B!*