That, too, did pass

Right after Christmas my husband and I spent three full days cleaning out our attic and storage space.  It was a job that was long overdue and was absolutely necessary if we didn’t want to outgrow this house before the market has a chance to improve.  We cleared countless boxes of toys, clothes, books, old computer equipment, and baby items.  A couple weeks after finishing that I went around the house and removed all the baby safety latches on the cabinets, drawers, and doors.

I never thought about any of that while I was in the midst of doing it.  But, I realized recently exactly what an amazing and terrifying milestone it was.  I haven’t lived without safety latches for the last eight years.  Every time I wanted to open a cupboard or drawer I had to remember to reach in and push the latch down before it would give.  There hasn’t been a time in 8 years that the attic hasn’t been filled with baby clothes, baby toys, highchairs, bounce seats, and potty training gadgets.

Not anymore.

Sure, we saved the crib and a few sentimental toys and books for our future grandbabies.  But everything else is gone.  Donated.  Given away.  Removed from the house.  And the whole thing is bittersweet.

Our family is a family of five.  We are what we are and I wouldn’t change any of that.  Maybe someday we will adopt, but I feel pretty certain that our family is complete – that one Jacob, one Amelia, and one Charlotte is what the Lord intended for our homestead.  I’m a good mother for them and they are the perfect little babies for me.  But, in the moment of removing the relics of their baby years I realized how fleeting it all was.  My days of mothering babies is gone.  I’m beginning my own growth phase of parenting children of a different age – an age of sleepovers, homework, extracurricular activities, sleep away camp, and personal opinions.

It’s magical, this phase.  It blows my mind everyday as I watch them grow into these incredible people that follow most statements with “No, I can do it myself, mom!” or “I can figure that out!” or “I can read that on my own!”

Exciting, really.    And absolutely worth it.

But, I wonder how long I’ll continue check the attic for that certain baby onesie or reach in the cupboard for that little white latch that has stopped me in my tracks for the last eight years…

and maybe I don’t need to stop reaching for it anyway.