7 Planned Responses to Any Questions Raised During My Defense (because 5 is too few and 10 is too many!)

It’s Mother’s Day eve and I’m spending the evening studying for my upcoming (as in bright and early Monday!) oral defense for my comprehensive exams.  Hubby is at the grocery store buying me a green pen because I figured if I used my favorite color to make notes it might bring me some luck.

Plus, geniuses pick green.

I’m sitting here reviewing the 86 pages I wrote.  86 pages!  86 freaking pages about interpretivism, narrative analysis, situated identity, feminism, and probably some other stuff thrown in that I don’t even understand or remember.  I didn’t know I had 86 pages worth of stuff to say about anything. Ever.

And, now I have to put on my critical hat and decide what questions or issues they might bring up during my two hour defense.  They Gettysburg Address took under five minutes to deliver and that was about a war!  What the hell do I talk about for two hours?  Politics? No, too dangerous.  The endangered spider monkey? No, too controversial.  Crabs? No. Just no.

So I figured I needed to prepare some substantial responses to use just in case I get stumped for any reason.  So, here goes…

• “I hadn’t thought of that! That’s a very interesting idea.” – a good blanket statement to work in a multitude of situations.  

• “Because I said so!” – This usually works with the kids so I figure I can get away with it once.  

• “Don’t oppress me with your testicles!” – because I am a feminist now.  *snort* Considering the only man on my committee is also feminist this might backfire. So, use with caution.  

• “I just don’t know the answer to that.” – added to the use of sad puppy eyes and it might buy me a minute to think.

•  “Something something ‘Paradigm’ something something more words” – I figure there is no time like the present to use some of that SAT vocab.  

• “you know what they say when you assume…” – just in case they ask about any assumptions in my research.  

• “I appreciate your insight, but I believe my approach is strong and valid.” – this one works on the off chance I develop some confidence in what I’m doing by Monday.