I don’t buy it!

What would you do if your spouse came home one day and announced I don’t love you?

Would you separate?  Would you work your hardest to save what is left of the relationship?  Would you just sit in shock in an attempt to will the statement into not existing?

I sometimes wonder if something like this will ever happen to me.  I don’t mean that I think about this in a paranoid sort of way – more in the sense of One day he’s gonna wake up and realize I’m just crazy!


Sometimes I’m so shocked that our relationship is as successful as it is that I feel like someday the other shoe will drop.

I grew up around divorce.  I saw first hand the hardships of families and marriages falling apart.  I saw the realities of trying to rebuild into something new and blended.  It wasn’t anything close to pretty – and it was about as far as one gets from a happy ending.  I think that’s why part of me wonders if divorce is just inevitable – even for people that love each other.

What would I do if my husband came home and announced he didn’t love me?  Honestly, I’d fight like hell.  I’d fight with all my strength.  I’d find any way possible to remind him of exactly how equally yolked we are.  I’d turn to God, I’d seek help, and I’d make sure we had exhausted every possible angle before any decision was made to walk away.  I’d continue to love him unconditionally.

What I wouldn’t do is sit back and take it.

This is Not The Story You Think It Is by Laura Munson explores this exact situation.  Faced with her husband’s declaration that he no longer loves her, Munson announces that she just doesn’t buy into the fact that he feels this way.  She deals with the situation by passively accepting what she calls her husband’s ‘crisis.’  Throughout the hardships Munson seems unable to take any responsibility for the fact that her marriage and her family are falling apart.  She prefers to continue a materialistic existence and, even with the loss of their Montana ranch a possibility, refuses to get a job.  As an unpublished writer for almost two decades, Munson honestly believes that she is entitled to an extravagant existence – and that being published would somehow be the magic wand needed.

While I appreciate the premise behind this book I felt as if something was missing.  Emotion maybe?  A sense of responsibility?  A complete, uninterrupted thought?  I’m not even sure I could say with confidence that she stood up for her marriage – her own needs maybe, but not her marriage.

Though there is a fairly positive ending to this memoir, I never actually felt a connection to the author or her plight.  I felt like she kept me at a distance – just like the obese people eating junk food at the water park she refused to visit with her children.  I was somehow below her – not a friend or an appreciated reader.

But, who cares! She’s finally published now and that’s all that matters.

Sorry, I don’t buy it.

That is why I’m glad I didn’t actually pay for my copy of the book.  As part of the From Left to Write Book Club, formally Silicon Valley Moms Book Club, I received a copy of this book as a participatory member of the program.