I think I may have unintentionally destroyed a friendship.
This past school year I was a co-leader of a very small scouting troop through my daughter’s school. We were operating with very few girls and no money. After discussing the situation with my husband we’ve decided to transfer our daughter to another troop that operates within the county and has many of her school friends as members. I think the overall experience is going to be better for our daughter and give her many more opportunities.
Today I had to tell my co-leader I was moving troops.
And, she’s very upset.
She thinks I’ve bailed on her and all the hard work she’s put into building our troop. While I understand her reasoning I’m really trying to give my daughter the most well-rounded scouting experience possible. I emailed her and expressed how much I don’t want this to destroy our friendship. Our daughters play together and we often bump into one another through school functions and what not.
I feel terrible. I’m trying to give her time to cool down before I call her to talk, but I’m really afraid I unintentionally destroyed our friendship. The interesting thing is that she could very easily transfer with me, still be a leader, and have many, many resources at her fingertips. I want us to just combine troops so that we can all still work together, but have a more optimal experience.
I’m a Libra. I don’t like the waters to be muddied. I’m much more of a Can’t we all just get along type of girl.
And, I just want to do what’s best for my daughter.
I hate that I may lose a friendship in the process.
{{hugs}} I hope you're able to talk with her soon & work everything out. I hate any kind of conflict and would me a miserable mess until it was all smoothed over.
While I totally understand why you feel bad, you did what was right for your family, and that always has to come first. Maybe she was just having a bad day in general, and your news just came at a bad time. In a few days, maybe you can follow up with an email and offer to meet her for coffee or something.
You did what was best for the family. That's important. A true friend will see that and the advantages of going to the other troop and not blame you. Call her soon and get that coffee date scheduled.
You've said your peace. You cannot operate in a world where you're putting your family at a disadvantage to make sure another adult's feeling are spared. You were honest with her, and if she can't be civil in the end, it's her issue – not yours. Kisses – you're doing the right thing! I thought yankees were not supposed to be so sensitive! Relax horrified comment makers – It's a joke between best friends!
I've never had to deal with that conundrum, but I agree with the others; you did what you needed to do and were upfront with her about it. It would be unfortunate if she decides to hold it against you, but there's not much more you can do. (hugs)