March 2009 Archives - hooey!critic

Jump Start: (Winner!!!)

March 31, 2009 By Neena 10 Comments

And the winner of a 3 month membership to JumpStart is…

Congratulations Tutus, Feather Boas, and Sticky Fingers!!! Email me at mamaneena@hotmail.com to claim your prize! Thanks to all who entered!

I was recently contacted by JumpStart and asked to do a review of their interactive website. I am rather particular about the few reviews that I do because I want to be sure it is a product I support and believe in. But, I was excited about this for a couple reason. First, my daughter recently because a ‘computer geek’ like her daddy and absolutely loves playing learning games on the computer. Second, her birthday is just around the corner and I thought this would give me a chance to sample before I buy.

JumpStart is a learning and adventure-based computer programs that allows children to explore, build, and discover an imaginative 3D world. The website is designed to allow each player to create everything to their own personal specifications, including characters, clothing, buildings, music, art, etc. There are different adventures for different age groups ranging from 3 years old to 5th grade! It has won numerous awards and easily allows a child to learn and explore at their own pace!

But, how do the kids feel?

I set my 4 year old daughter down at the computer and told her I had a new website and games for her to play. I logged in to my free account and set her up as a user. I turned the mouse over to her and that was it! She taught herself to play in a matter of moments thanks to the great verbal instructions and easy navigation. She created her own character, explored a great new world, colored pictures, played music, and two hours later she was still going strong! Her younger brother pulled a chair up next to her and together they played, talked, and explored together. It was the perfect activity for our rainy Saturday at home! They had a fantastic time and I knew they were engaged in something that was learning-based, safe, and fun for their ages!

The more I explored the website the more I discovered about what is available. Registration to the website is free and allows access to a few of the games available. But, having the membership gave me access to so much more. I found great tips for parents, discussion forums that allowed met to read what other parents are experiencing with the website and games, and fun activities that can be downloaded for even more adventuress. There was even a newsletter that offered great recipes, advice, and ideas for parents to use on a daily basis. I had just as much fun exploring the website as my kids did playing the games! JumpStart was kind enough to provide us with a three month membership to the website and I can see that we will certainly be putting it to good use.

I really like that my kids have a new activity that is safe and age appropriate. I feel comfortable as a parent knowing that the games and activities they are playing are geared toward their pace and that they learning through the entire process. Not only have they been wildly entertained on a rainy day, but I’ve found a great present that the whole family can enjoy!

And, JumpStart has been kind enough to offer one lucky reader a 3 month membership to the website!

To enter just leave a comment on this post! Tweet the contest and leave another comment and you’ll earn a second entry!! Trust me when I say that is a pretty cool prize and your kids will love it! Contest ends Tuesday (3/31) at noon. Winner will be chosen by Random.org and announced Tuesday afternoon! Good luck!

Filed Under: review

Bullets and Random Numbers from a Monday

March 31, 2009 By Neena 2 Comments

yellow – the color of food coloring the baby got in and thus dyed her hands and face
2 – the number of times I had to tell my son that it is inappropriate to randomly pull out your penis
5 – the number of minutes it took me to convince my son to quit running around with the underwear he stole from his sister.
472 – the number of muscles that hurt after doing day one of The 30 Day Shred
2 – the number of strollers I posted on Craigslist so that I could sell them and have more room in the freakin‘ garage!
SpongeBob – the crack of choice for my children
cheese – the baby’s newest word
Cat vomit – what the baby tried to eat before I found it and cleaned it up
12 – the number of reasons I came up with as to why the Special Olympics could be calling my house
12 - the number of reasons I chose not to answer the phone when the Special Olympics people called again.

Filed Under: daily grind

Flip Flops: An Analysis

March 30, 2009 By Neena 12 Comments

I recently bought myself a pair of flip flops.

Cute, huh!

This was a big deal for me because I have always had horrible images and stereotypes of flip flops in my head.

Most people probably pictures something cute like this when they think about Spring and flip flops.

No.

Not me.

I picture things like this:

Dirty feet and dried, crusty heels. Nasty, dirty flip flop feet.

It’s rather gross and creepy, but it’s everywhere. People in the mall, people at the grocery store, people at the pediatrician. It’s like attack of the dirty flop flop feet.

And, I’m a bit creeped out by feet to begin with. My mom has whacked out feet and my husband has these genetically strange dragon toes that literally have the ability to pick up and move cars due to their flexibility and strength. I’m serious.

Creepy, huh!?

Actually he was trying to be cute. I had forced him to watch the all day marathon of America’s Next Top Model and when I asked if I could take a picture of his feet he said, ‘Sure, just let me pose so I can make it fierce!’

His feet, despite the toes that have the strength of a side-show freak, are quite normal looking.

But, despite all this, I am going to dedicate some time to understanding and accepting the world of flip flops. Maybe I’ll become a convert and throw my Crocs to the wind. Maybe I’ll realized that Old Navy is on to something. Maybe I’ll grow to love them like so many other girls.

But, if I run across any shit like this, I’m out!

Seriously, though. Because the chipped polish just makes it okay.

Filed Under: flip flops, photos, shopping

The Terrible Twos Came Early This Time

March 27, 2009 By Neena 4 Comments

Now, have that start about 7:00 AM, take a short break after lunch, and continue until bedtime and you have a typical day in the life of Baby Charlotte.

The other two tolerate her antics…mostly out of fear, I’m afraid.

I just run the flipcam.

Filed Under: video

Just a suggestion

March 26, 2009 By Neena 9 Comments

Dear Plastic Sea Creature Manufacturer and All Affiliated Parties,

A Couple months ago our family had the pleasure of visiting a natural history museum in a neighboring city. As is custom in our family when we visit a new attraction we allowed our children to choose a souvenir from the gift shop.

Our three year old son, the animal enthusiast, decided he wanted to purchase a tube of miniature sea creatures to add to his already vast collection of both land and sea animals. The tube contained a variety of sea life including, a crab, several colorful fish, a starfish, a sea horse, and several sharks. He was thrilled and easily spent several hours playing with his new toy. His father and I, however, were a little concerned about the appearance of one particular piece from the collection.

This is supposed to be a clam and, for some Freudian reason, it is our son’s favorite piece.

Now, my real concern lies with us, the parents. See, we’re not really any better that a couple of 12 year olds and, as you can imagine upon examining the picture, it isn’t very difficult to spend way too much time giggling about this. Yes, we should be more mature and be better than this, but come on! Did you really not realize what you were doing when you were creating the sketches and molds for this thing. I don’t care where you were manufacturing it. Most of us are equally immature around the world and I’m pretty sure these things look the same no matter where you’re from.

So, I suggest that you remove said ‘clam’ from the variety of sea creatures that comes in the tube or you include a warning on the label that this particular toy is not for adults. Because, frankly, it’s like a fart joke: it will always be funny.

I am certainly available for further sea creature consultation should something look phallic or boob-ish.

Thanks,

MamaNeena

Filed Under: letter

400 and Company

March 25, 2009 By Neena 6 Comments

Yesterday I was scheduled to have company at my house in the early evening. These were not people I knew. They were strangers, polite strangers, but strangers nonetheless. They worked for an advertising agency in NYC and had come across my blog. They thought I would be a good fit to talk to regarding a project they were working on.

I know, right.

That’s about all the details I got, but I figured why not. They were flying into Georgia Tuesday and would be at my house around dinner time to discuss their project and view the ‘busy-ness‘ of our home.

Can’t fake that if I tried.

Add this to the fact that Hubby had to immediately fly to Virginia for some schmoozing of folks who were scared about spending their millions on some technology. He’s not a salesman, my husband. But, he’s always the guy they run to whenever anyone gets nervous about computers taking over the world and humans becoming obsolete or something. I don’t know.

But, I’m losing my point.

So, strangers were coming. And, I was nervous.

Because I wasn’t sure what all this was about I wasn’t sure what I should be doing. I became worried that my house wouldn’t be clean and they would see that my window sill has dog food in it and the sink contains a random green bean from last night’s dinner. Should I sweep the kitchen floor or let them see that the real chaos of my house involved cheerios from the baby’s snack and a few random toys that have been plunked down in the oddest locations?

Should I just brew coffee to offer to my guests or should I have a wide selections of beverages available to them? If I don’t offer anything but coffee should I stock up on half and half since all we have is milk and my flavored cream which I only share with my father-in-law?

And, what about the kids? Did their clothes need to be changed so that their dinner stains, daily art projects, and toothpaste spills wouldn’t show? Did I need to worry about my son busting out the nakedness that he seems so fond of these days? Would the baby harass the dog and get her fingers snapped off for eating Chloe’s dog biscuit? Would they spend the time asking for things they know they can’t have just because I want them on their best behavior? Should I even care? Their kids and aren’t kids supposed to be weird and honest and make new situations more lively and colorful?

And, me, of course. Holy crap! Should I be fancy and put on a real bra as opposed to my trusty cami? Would my sassy new flip flops look okay with my ‘mom capri pants’ or should I cover my unpainted toes in favor of my cute, but smelly black ballet flats? Would makeup be appropriate in this situation or should I just be my normal self and let them see the face I show the public everyday?

Okay, this is why us crazy folks don’t get out much. We panic. We forget to breathe. We lose all sense of decency and manners in the face of odd social situations. We don’t RSVP because we’re more comfortable in black yoga pants hiding in the bedroom. We’re goofy and awkward and feel comfortable hiding behind the computer screen.

We like our little bubbles. And, we tend to overanalyze anything that threatens that bubble.

So, I did what any red-blooded, American stay-at-home mother of three would do:

I bought fast foot and treated myself to a glass of wine before their arrival. Because, frankly, no amount of face wiping, bra wearing, febreeze spraying, or deep breathing was going to compare to grease and liquor.

I’m just sayin‘…

But, they arrived and were completely normal. They were adorable, sweet, NYC girls. They loved on my babies and interviewed me as I went about my normal routine.

We laughed and talked and took pictures. We talked about home, the economy, child development, advertising, their work project, and even some of my goals. I quizzed them on their super cool life in NYC and mentioned how much I would love to visit that city…just in case they need some on site interviewing in the future.

They were precious and I wanted to invite them to go shopping and hang out and be my cool non-kid friends!

I’m sure I came off as the weirdo goober mom from Georgia. And, that’s okay because I made new friends!

*waves* Hi, Girls! Thanks for the chocolates and for being nice to my babies! See you on Twitter!

Oh, and on a totally random note: I have officially hit 400 posts on my little blog here. I’ll toast to that!

Filed Under: daily grind, interview

Rockabye: From Wild to Child

March 25, 2009 By Neena Leave a Comment

I have only been reading Rebecca Woolf’s blog, Girl’s Gone Child, for a short time. I was immediately intrigued by her outlook and subscribed to her blog so that I could continue being part of the ideas she chose to share with her readers. I quickly grew to love her language and decided to purchase her book that is based partly on what she writes on her blog.

My book arrived yesterday and I finished it before noon today. And, now I’m torn.

I’m torn because I’m done with the book and I can never read it again for the first time, but I’m totally thrilled that I got the pleasure of losing myself in its pages for 24 hours.

This book is fantastic! It tells the story of Rebecca’s surprise journey to motherhood and her attempts to hold on to herself in the process. Her thoughts are frank and honest and full of a realness I have not seen from other mothers. I honestly wanted to fly to LA and share a much needed cigarette and drink with this girl. Me with a glass of wine and her with a local beer or strong cocktail. I wanted to tell her that most moms with the manicured hands and the nannies secretly wish they could be as free and as ‘normal’ as she is. I wanted to tell her that my soul has now been tattooed three times and it wasn’t until I read her book that I understood the true depth of what that means.

I saw quite a bit of myself in her as she dealt with all the feelings and emotions that come with growing up, having a baby, and getting married. I understood from experience her struggles with a breast reduction. I know what it’s like to want to run away from all of it just to try and find a bit of the old self you remember. I understand the crumbs and the dog hair and the spattered clothes. But, I also understand how none of that matters because the children love beyond the physical. They love with a realness that is completely new, unaffected by the world, and the only way they know how.

I think what I admire most about this book and its author is her ability to stay hopeful. Yes, she’s been through some rough times and was thrown into a life she never knew she always wanted, but she always remained hopeful. She always remembered to stop and appreciate her child, her life, and her circumstances. She did all this without ever letting go of the dreams she had before becoming a mother. I spent over two years of my life thinking that being lost and sacrificing for the good of my family was the way it was supposed to be. I eventually snapped out of it and have started embracing the ‘self’ that I was and the ‘self’ that I am. Rebecca was smart enough to go through this journey without ever thinking that letting herself and her dreams go was an option.

I admire her for that. And, I admire the fact that her book helped me to remember that we should make our own rules and strive to have it all, whatever ‘have it all’ means.

Rebecca, your book RAWKS! Thank you for putting it out there.

Filed Under: book review

What I Learned This Week (vol. 5)

March 24, 2009 By Neena 9 Comments

Happy Tuesday, Y’all! And, with this Tuesday comes another edition of the ‘What I Learned This Week’ carnival.

Brace yourselves. And, join in. It’s super fun! I only post to the carnival every two weeks as opposed to every week. I’m sure I learn lots of stuff on a daily basis, but it takes me a while to process it all and really take in the depth of each lesson.

What can I say!? I’m kinda hard headed.

I learned that my toes will forever look dirty because there is absolutely no remover strong enough in all the land to completely take off my new polish.

For some odd cosmic reason I’m less likely to have sex with my husband if I shave my legs, but forget about the stubble just once and RAWR.

I’m not very good at being a sports mom. Hubby was trying to help our son practice his tee-ball batting. He was showing him how to stand and how to hold the thing and was getting a bit guy-ish and forceful about doing it correctly when I nutted up with ‘oh, just let the child have fun!’ Apparently I missed the whole class on Fathers, Sons, and Sports. Yea, I’m really broken up about it, too.

Flip flops may quite possibly be the most comfortable things ever! Last summer I was all about the Crocs, but I’m becoming a convert!

Hot and Sour soup tastes like feet. And, it has some sorta weird floaters swimming around in the broth. Ewe.

Remember, my friends, learning is fundamental.

Filed Under: carnival

TCF

March 23, 2009 By Neena 8 Comments

My hubby tends to think I’m crazy.

Not like ‘she eats paste and does not have permission to grow finger nails because she’s in the home’ crazy.

More like odd. Quirky. Endearing.

He views so many of my habits this way and I honestly believe one of the keys to our marriage is the fact that he is apparently rather entertained by my weirdness.

I have specific quirks and habits about the way I sleep. Things have to be just right. I even asked hubby to take a picture of me sleeping so that I may analyze by wackiness in an attempt to better understand myself and what keeps him laughing regularly at my expense.

Check out this photo. Here I am sleeping in our bed. I must point out that our quilt is freakin’ gorgeous and I totally got it on sale at Pottery Barn. It’s blue and green and soothing and makes me feel warm and comfortable. I know at the moment the photo was taken it was thrown off me, but that’s just because, well, never mind. I’m digressing from my point.

Look down in the corner. See my foot?

Here, look closer. That is my temperature control foot, or TCF.

It does not matter if it is Winter or the middle of Summer. I am always careful to make sure my TCF is able to slip out from the covers. When it’s too hot I just slip my foot out for a few moments, cool off, and pull it back under the covers. If I get too cold I can easily pull it back under, cuddle it up to the fuzzy blanket, and return to a glorious state of warmth. And, I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know that the TCF is a great way to cope with hormone changes and hot flashes.

I speak of what I know, my friends.

Moving on.

This is a wiener. It’s not the kind of wiener I prefer to have in my bed, but she shows up every night.

That’s Chloe. She’s my dog and she’s gotten too fat to jump up in the bed. But, she wants nothing more in this world than to sleep in the bed with me. So hubby usually lifts her up in the bed and lets her sleep on his pillow until he comes to bed.

She smells.

But, I love her and often feel those guilty mommy/pet owner feelings if I don’t let her have her cuddle time while I’m in bed. Hubby usually kicks her out when he comes to bed. If he’s not careful removing her from the bed she’ll get pissed and poop on the floor.

They walk a fine line those two.

Then there’s this. These are my remotes and I’ll be the first to admit that I love, love, love to fall asleep to the TV. Yes, yes I do.

I know it’s not supposed to be good for your REM cycle or whatever, but come on! Intervention, Bizarre Foods, Lock Up! There’s some good shows on late at night!

But, because I try to be kind to my hubby that hates to fall asleep to the TV, I always set the sleep timer and put the remotes on his side of the bed so he can put them on his nightstand when he comes to sleep. I still have access to them should I choose to flip the channel and he does not have to got hunting for them when he comes to bed.

Now, if you add to all this the fact that I must have a glass of water by my bed, socks within reach should the hormones and the TCF have a feng shui clash, and a hair clip attached to the headboard, I could potentially understand why he thinks I’m crazy.

But then he married me so I guess the joke’s on him!

Sucker!

My wiener and I will be in the bedroom watching Animal Cops.

Sweet dreams, y’all!

(or perhaps after this post it’ll be nightmares…)

Filed Under: weird