hooey!critic

I got an email the other day asking what I was going to do with my first day off after graduation.  At that moment I didn’t really consider that I might get one because life and babies don’t usually comply with days off.

Now that my mother has returned back home to Ohio and the Pomp and Circumstance of graduation is behind me I’m taking my day “off” today.

I took the kids to school early this morning since my husband had already left for the airport to deliver my mother for her flight.  When I got back home around 7:20 this morning Charlotte and I decided to resume our morning snuggles.  We sat on the couch, legs entwined, and giggled over yogurt and cartoons.  There was the occasional ball throwing for the dog or quilt adjustment to keep little feet from peeking out and getting cold.  I sipped coffee, looked around my clean living room, and decided my completed to-do list from yesterday totally makes today day “off” worthy.

We moved our pajama-clad bodies to the bedroom to play some Angry Birds and organize my new writing area.  She hid under the covers while I put files in their place and adjusted things so they were just right.

There was dancing in the shower, the brushing of tangles, and the appreciation for clean yoga pants.  The rest of the day will be spent…I don’t know how.  I don’t really care how either.  The two of us will enjoy this day “off” together in the comfort of our home where snuggles reign and naps are learning to be appreciated again.  There is always time tomorrow to  get things done.  But not today.  Today the graduate is taking a beloved day off…

Pants are pressed.  Shoes are shined.  Camera batteries are charged.  And pantyhose are purchased.

Tomorrow I walk across the stage.

I’ll stand in front of what I imagine will feel like a million people and my professor will present me with my hood.

The hood that represents my official acceptance of my PhD.

Hands will clap in celebration, pictures will capture parts of the moment, and drinks will toast the ocassion.

I’m nervous.  Excited.  Partially terrified.

But, oh so ready….

Ready for Dr. to be an official part of my name.

I read quite a bit about feminism throughout my PhD program.  I took a class on feminist media studies and read more articles than I can count on the different waves of feminism.  While many of them say similar things they all agree that feminism is about empowering women – empowering women to be equal in politics, economics, and social rights.

While I agree that the whole of feminism is about empowerment I feel that one word is often left out of the discussion:

CHOICE.

It’s a simple word, but a mighty powerful one.  I believe that choice is at the heart of female empowerment.  In all honesty I can only look at feminism through my personal experiences, my specific lens.  I can try to understand and celebrate the perspectives of other women in different situations, but I can only speak from my personal circumstances.

And my circumstances have given me choices.

I have the choice to stay home and raise my children.  It is not a requirement that I live the domestic life and it is in no way oppressive that I choose to do so.

I had the choice to marry who I wanted when I felt I was ready.  It was not dictated to me that I marry a certain person based on social class, race, or economics.  I was able to make the choice based on love and compatibility.

I had the choice to further my education.  I wasn’t limited to one degree or even two.  I chose to push my knowledge as far as it could go and return to school for a PhD.

I have a choice in what causes I support, what charities I contribute to, what doctors I see, what birth control I use or don’t use, and what clothing I slip on everyday.  I had a choice in inking my body with tattoos and having three babies.  And I have choices in how they are raised to view the world.

It is within these choices that the feeling of empowerment lives.  Not every woman person has the opportunity to make these choices.  I know that I’m lucky to have the opportunities that I do.  But, I also know that it is my personal responsibility to raise my children in a manner that teaches them to accept everyone, including women, and help others have access to many of the same choices they do.  I may not be able to change the world but I can be sure that there will be three other souls who will understand that empowerment is something we all deserve.

This post is inspired by I AM FORBIDDEN by Anouk Markovits. Though not sisters by blood but through their Hasidic faith, Mila and Atara views the rules and structure of their culture differently. Mila seeks comfort in the Torah while Atara searches for answers in secular literature she is forbidden to read. Ultimately each must make an irrevocable decision that will change their lives forever. Join From Left to Write on May 8 as we discuss I AM FORBIDDEN. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

I had plans to write more tonight.  But, my husband and I just finished coordinating our calendars for all the upcoming events, end of school stuff, recitals, etc.  Now I’m too tired to think clearly.  Plus, I’m not sure I’ll have any breathing time before the beginning of June.

In the meantime…

I’m learning how to create a proper bun since this little cutie has her first ballet recital this weekend where she’ll play a baby mermaid.  I got to see a preview tonight during her ballet class and I died from cuteness.

Seriously, dead from cuteness.

And today I had the joy of using the first fresh herbs from the season.  I picked them right out of the garden, chopped them up, and added them into a veggie scramble I served for dinner.

My graduation ceremony is next week and I still haven’t decided what to wear.  My mother arrives in a week for a visit and we’ll spend our first mother’s day together since I moved to Georgia in 1999.  The dog needs to be groomed and my son is desperate for a hair cut.  I have a weird rash on my neck and I just ate 4 spoonfuls of Nutella out of the jar.

Perhaps breathing time should be scheduled before June…

Or I just need to buy more Nutella.